"I said think about it," Noah said. "You haven't even done that. You don't want to get an F, do you?"
"Noah—" Noah kissed her lips one last time before he grabbed a few tissues off of her nightstand that he would definitely need.
"Just think about it, Mel. What's the harm in that?"
With that, he left out of her room and nodded at Damon before he left. He had a feeling after what happened between them, it wouldn't be long before Melanie made up some excuse to ask Damon to leave. And Noah was right. After using those tissues to clean himself in the car, just as he was about to leave, Noah saw Damon leaving the apartment building, and Noah couldn't help but smile, satisfied that Melanie was no longer on a date. There was no way he was going to let anyone else have something that precious to him.
CHAPTER
30
NOAH
A
FTER THE WEEKEND, WHEN NOAH SAW MELANE AGAIN, he wasn't surprised to find that she was ignoring him. Throughout class, she didn't bother to look at him or acknowledge his presence, even when he raised his hand to answer a question, she would call on someone else instead. It was annoying, but Noah couldn't complain much because he expected her to freak out after what happened between them. But what had surprised him was the later on that day, when he made it to their study session, she was there. Noah came, more than likely, expecting her not to show up. He expected some bullshit text message with her telling him not to bother to come. But there was no text because she was at the whiteboard, scribbling down notes on the board.
Noah hesitated at the door, not quite sure what to say. Usually, he would joke with her, throwing on his best charm to make her smile. Everything with Melanie was always simple, but now, it wasn't that way, not after what had passed between them last Saturday night. It would never be the same. And though Noah wanted to know Melanie's answer to his assignment, he knew that from the way she stiffly wrote on the board, that right now was not the best time to ask her anything about their personal relationship. They had gone at his pace that night. Today, they would go at hers.
Instead of saying anything, Noah stepped inside the room and took a seat. Melanie turned into Professor Bryant right before his eyes as she went over Chapter 15. Noah wrote down the notes that he would surely need for the upcoming final exam in two weeks. Soon, the semester would be over, and though ever since he started getting tutoring from Melanie, he was passing all of her assignments and exams, Noah could not slack on this last one which was a big portion of his grade. To pass this course, he would need to ace this exam, and so he pushed his thoughts of Melanie to the back of his mind, and instead, focused on the lesson at hand.
It wasn't long before the full hour of tutoring was up, and Melanie began to wipe the board down. Noah placed his notebook and pen back into his bag before he slowly stood up from his seat, unsure of what to do and what to say. Everything was more awkward than he had expected, and all the bravado he had that night from the jealousy he felt seeing her with another man was gone, leaving him naked, vulnerable, and unable to break through the wall she was so obviously placing between them.
Stiffly, Melanie placed the dry eraser down before wiping her hands and grabbing her purse. She looked like she was ready to flee, but she paused in her step and sighed before giving her full attention to him. Noah's heart beat rapidly as he waited for her response. He hadn't felt this way since the first time he had played hockey, a chilling feeling that jacked his nerves up to the point that he felt his heart in his chest. He desperately wanted to know her response, but on the other hand, he feared it. He feared it because a part of him already knew what the answer would be.
"Noah," she started as she breathed out another deep sigh. "I'm sorry, but I can't be with you."
Noah looked down, feeling defeated, the same way he felt whenever he knew a game was lost, and there was no chance of him saving it. A part of him already knew the answer from the beginning. Had this been any other woman, they probably would have given in. They wouldn't have questioned what this was and what their titles were to each other. Noah had met plenty of older women before who had made their attraction known to him. But Melanie was different. She wasn't that type of woman. She wouldn't just act on her emotions even if she felt it, not when her brain was working perfectly fine.
Noah gave a hollow smile that he did not feel as he slowly nodded, trying to work his way towards acceptance even if he did not feel it.
But how could he accept it? How could he take not being with her?
"You're my student," Melanie continued, "and it wouldn't be right for us to do anything. I already crossed the line with you once, but I won't cross it any further."
"So, that's it," Noah said with a hollow laugh that he did not feel. "Is it the end of everything, our tutoring, our—"
"No," she quickly said. "I'll keep tutoring you, and we can be the way we were before, but…but if something inappropriate happens between us again, I'll definitely end all of it."
"Then why not just end it now?" Noah asked because, for him, he knew it was impossible to let go. Not after everything that had happened, not after he tasted her. Maybe it was just better to end it cold than continue when it would be torture to be around her without kissing her beautiful, plump lips that were so desperately asking to be kissed, even now. It was best to leave temptation at the door rather than bringing it in, and being around Melanie was temptation itself.
"I like you," Melanie said. Noah wished that liked meant something entirely different, and more so in the way he felt about her. "You're my student, but you're also my friend. I don't want to lose that."
Noah dropped his bag and walked closer to her, but she quickly raised her hand, stopping him before he could get too close— stopping him before he could kiss every worry she had away.
"I don't want to lose that either," Noah said, also wanting to convey how he felt for her, feeling frustrated by the lack of words that were coming to his head that could explain exactly what he wanted from her. "But, we could be that and more—"
"Don't," she said, shaking her head, as she shakily gripped her purse. "Don't ruin it all, or there won't be anything between us at all."
Noah slammed his fist against the table, before he reluctantly took a step back, understanding her words loud and clear, and hearing the threat behind them. Either he could accept what they had before, or nothing at all, and Noah would rather have friendship with Melanie than not be able to see her smile and laugh like she used to do before. If this were all he could get from her, then he would accept it gladly, even though he wanted so much more. Even though he knew they could be so much more. And she knew it too.
"Okay," Noah agreed, biting down his protests and accepting her word.
Melanie gave a small smile. "See you tomorrow, Noah," she said before she left the room, leaving nothing but her scent behind and him hollow.
CHAPTER
31
