"She’s hardly trained," she pulls away, drops her shirt back down."It was more of a temper tantrum.I handled it."
"You shouldn't have had to."
Her eyes flash."No.And maybe if you’d show more restraint, I wouldn’t have."
The accusation lands like a physical blow.
"We talked about this.It was part of the cover," I say.
"How many, Jagger?How many women did you take to bed aspart of the cover?"
Steam billows from the shower.
It’s the oldest accusation in the book, and I’ve heard worse.Every op has its cost, and sometimes that cost wears lipstick.
But hearing it from her—someone who still believes in lines you don’t cross—makes me wish I could explain how few choices there really were.
"You think I wanted to use her like that?"My voice is too loud in the small space."You think I enjoyed?—"
The lie tastes bitter even as I say it, because some part of me did stop thinking, stopped weighing the cost, and just did what was easiest.
I know what it makes me.Have known for years and kept doing it anyway.
"Yes, Jagger.I do think you enjoyed it.”
I don't have an answer, not one that makes any of this better.
Every excuse I have dies in my throat because they're all just ways of saying I chose this.Over and over, I chose this.
She stares at me, waiting.When I don't speak, something in her expression shifts.Not anger anymore.
Disgust.
That look guts me worse than anything Marquez could do.
"Get out," she says.
"Adena—"
"Get out, Jagger."
There’s no clean way to do what I do.I’ve gotten good at lying about motive—saying it was strategy, saying it was control.This time, with Adena, none of those are going to fly.
“Sorry, Tiger,” I say.“I can’t leave.I really do need to shower.”
She does a double-take, exhales hard, recalculating before she gives me a cool stare.“Fine.Make it quick.I’ll wait outside.”
She exits and leaves the door open a crack, standing outside just as my phone buzzes in my pocket.
Paco.
Trouble at the gym, hombre?
I stare at the words on the screen, working my jaw as I strip off and leave my gun where I can easily reach it.
The water saturates the bandage Adena slapped on, and I rip it off and force myself to feel every second of it.I’m starting to understand why she prays.She’s reaching for a solution that doesn’t require more bloodshed.
Adena
