The jet's engines create a constant low thrum that I feel in my sternum more than hear, punctuated by the occasional creak of leather when Verity moves.
When Ben finally calls to give me the verdict his voice through the burner phone Silas gave me is compressed and tinny, each word clipped short like he's reading from a script."The injunction held.Most of the corporate transfers didn't process, but the marriage license is valid, and that significantly changes your position."
I listen in silence, too tired to even speak.
"Your security clearance is suspended.Any position requiring federal credentials is off the table—possibly permanently.An annulment is still viable.We file immediately, you cooperate with the takedown, and in a few years, we might be able to petition to restore your clearance.Might."
The word hangs in the air.
"But if you don't annul," Ben continues, "that door closes and doesn't reopen.You can't work anywhere that requires federal vetting.You need to tell me what you're thinking so we can move forward."
I don’t know what I’m thinking.I’m exhausted.A night in a cell and now I have to make a call I’m not capable of making.
“I’ll let you know,” I say.“As soon as I make a decision.”
I put the phone down and sigh as Verity settles into the seat beside me.She says nothing at first, just watches me twist the ring around my finger.
"Do you want to talk?"she finally asks.
"Not really.What's done is done."
She stretches her legs out, and eyes me."Are you in love with him?Is that why you ignored Silas’s warning?"
The question hits differently than it should, and my chest tightens.
"It’s complicated," I say, which is hardly an answer.
She sighs heavily."I'll take that as a yes.But are you really prepared to stay married to him?"
I close my eyes."I made a promise.Not just to him, but to God."
Verity's perfume mingles with the scent of jet fuel and gun oil as she shifts closer."But you were under duress."
"I knew what I was doing."
"But did you realize what you'd have to give up?"Verity leans forward."Marriage requires sacrifice.You give up your independence, your freedom, your choices.Most people do that for someone they've known longer than a week.Someone they actually trust."
Her words resonate not just because they're true, but because I know how crazy this must look.
"Have you considered you were caught up in the moment?"Verity's voice is gentler now."If that was the case, you can still get out of this.You can annul it, cooperate with the feds, and in a few years?—"
"I wasn't caught up in the moment," I say quietly.
I look out at the desert passing below.Somewhere down there, Jagger is in a hospital bed.Somewhere down there, he's probably already signing annulment papers.
My hand finds the ring again.
Verity shifts beside me and lowers her voice.“He is your type.Muscles, ink, and secrets.It would be easy to get… confused,” she says carefully.
“Are you saying I should give up on my marriage?”I ask.“You didn’t.You fought for yours.”
She shifts her weight.“That’s not the same.Reese and I dated first and were married for three years before we separated.”
I cross my arms, and try not to glare at her.“He needs someone.”
“And that someone has to be you?”
I know she means well, but she can’t possibly understand what Jagger and I have been through and how that binds two people together.
