But for someone like Crawford, it’s shameful to think of the two worlds colliding.
He’s going to be done with me soon anyway and moving on to the next girl.
My chest tightens at the thought of being with any other man after him. The mere idea repulses me, but I know I’ll have no choice.
Crawford needs a service from me, and once he gets that service from someone else, he probably won’t even remember my name.
Tears well up in my eyes, and I dab at them, willing them not to fall.
When the fuck did I get so deep into this?
Embarrassed by my own thoughts, I walk the streets of New York for the rest of my lunch hour, the incoherent shouts of my parents seeming to follow me wherever I go.
Chapter 31
Amelia
Afew days later, I arrive in the office early, walking gingerly out of the elevator, trying to keep my expression blank.
Crawford had told me the night before to wear one of his toys to the office this morning. I could hardly believe the course my life had taken as I sat on my bed, legs splayed, pushing it inside me before I was even dressed.
I hike my bag up my shoulder as I walk, hoping for some alone time at my desk to get used to the sensations running through me.
I’ve nearly made it through the office when Kaitlin materializes beside me, a conspiratorial smile on her face, and drags me into the kitchen.
“Is everything okay?” I ask as we enter the empty space. The fridge hums loudly beside us.
“You know it’s the gala tonight, right?” Kaitlin asks.
“Yes, did you need me to do something?”
“No, no. Everything’s dealt with. Beatrice is in asuperblackmood, though, so I would avoid her if I were you. I was wondering if you’d heard the rumor.”
The plug inside me shifts as I clench around it, terrified she’s somehow found out what my job really is.
“Uh… what rumor?”
“Crawford and his ex got back together.”
For a second, the sounds in the kitchen fade away. The hum of the fridge, the gentle murmur of conversation outside, it all dissipates into a screaming void as I bite my tongue to stop myself from barking out a harsh reply.
“R…really?” I ask, my voice coming out as a whisper.
“I’m not one for gossip, but this is pretty huge. Megan Trebeck wassucha bitch. I actually lost a bit of respect for Crawford when Beatrice told me they’d gotten back together. Apparently, they were seen having dinner a few nights ago. There’s a bunch of articles online about it.”
My fingers clutch my bag strap so hard I wince. “Wow. Uh, so I guess she’ll be there tonight, then?”
“Oh yeah. Well, actually, she would have been anyway. Crawford’s cousin, Sinclair Kellerman, is one of the guests, and Megan isSinclair’sgirlfriend. It’s gonna be a pretty fucking awkward evening.”
For someone who’s ‘not a gossip’, Kaitlin is positively salivating over the details. I force a laugh out of my suddenly-dry throat.
“Maybe it’s just a rumor,” I say weakly.
“Totally. But if you get a call from some woman demanding to speak to Crawford today, that’s who it’ll be. Be nice to her. She got two of his assistants fired last year.”
She squeezes my arm and heads back to her desk, leaving me reeling. Thoughts spiral manically through my head as I consider one terrible possibility after another.
I’ve been such an idiot.
