I want to take her in my arms, hold her, and tell her how sorry I am for everything. But instead, I turn away like a coward and go and sit on the deck, staring out at the beautiful view around me, wishing I could dive into the water, swim away, and come back as someone else.
I sit there for a long while, until the sun begins to set. When I go back into the room, I find Amelia asleep on the bed. Just as I had pictured in my fantasies, her hair is lying across the pillow, and I’m hit with the realization that we’ll be sharing a bed while we’re here.
Sighing, I go and sit down beside her. She opens her eyes, looking up at me as I stroke her hair.
“I’m not angry with you. I was being a dick on the plane. I’m sorry. I was shocked. Really shocked by what you said, but not because I think it’s a bad thing. I just wish I’d known. I would have acted differently.”
She makes a sound at the back of her throat as she pulls herself into a seated position.
“If I’d told you I was a virgin when we met, you’d have sent me straight back.”
I open my mouth to refute that.Would I?Maybe she’s right. In my arrogant way, I wanted someone experienced, a woman I could use without strings.
The shame coils tighter in my chest, and I shake my head.
“I don’t know what I’d have done, but I wouldn’t have bent you over my desk with barely any prep.”
She looks horrified. “Was it bad?”
I scrub a hand over my face as I grab her before she can get off the bed. “Amelia, look at me. Nothing about what we have done has been bad. Nothing. It’s been exceptional from the first day. I just mean, I would have treated you in a completely different way. You didn’t do anything wrong. Quite the opposite. You made me feel so possessive about you that I went nuts about you fucking some guy on a plane you’d never even been on!”
Her lower lip juts out endearingly. “I’ve only ever fucked one guy on a plane.”
The word ‘fucked’ from her lips makes my cock ache.
“Yeah,” I growl, pulling her toward me and planting a kiss on her mouth. “That’s the way it’ll stay, understood?”
As I pull back, I realize what I’ve said, and she stares at me wide-eyed with confusion.
Jesus, Lucas, you are really fucking this up.
“Let’s get ready for dinner. We need to go find out which restaurant Barnes is eating in tonight.”
Chapter 41
Lucas
When Amelia emerges from the bedroom, I’m standing by our private pool on the deck, sipping a vodka on the rocks.
She’s in a shimmering gold dress that hugs her figure over the glittering heels beneath, and her hair is cascading down her back like a fairy princess.
I’m speechless as she walks toward me. “You look exquisite,” I say sincerely, and she manages a smile.
As we leave the room, I find myself on edge again, unable to think of the right words to say to her. She’s distant tonight, but since her confession this morning, something between us has deepened for me.
I’m not sure what it is until we’re walking down the boardwalk together, the setting sun a vista of pinks and oranges behind her, and I have an overwhelming urge to hold her hand.
This is the most romantic setting anyone could wish for, and yet, we feel miles apart.
And that’s because that’s how it should be. We’re not together. We aren’t anything.
The sour voice in my head sounds a lot like my little brother Charlie, and I glance at Amelia. After a minute, I lose the battlewith myself and take her hand. Immediately, her fingers link loosely with mine, and my heart swells in my chest.
What the hell am I doing?
We arrive at the restaurant a few minutes later, with many other couples already walking in ahead of us. It’s a little Bedouin tent-style setup, and there are no chairs; everyone is kneeling beside low tables on luxurious white cushions.
The smell of roast lamb and kebabs wafts through the air, and I breathe it in as Amelia looks around.
