“Dylan, focus.” Alex grabs my shoulders. “Don’t panic. Just?—”
My thumb moves. Without my permission. Just pure panic instinct to make the notification go away.
I accidentally tap “Follow Back.”
“No no no no no—” The word rips out of me before I can stop it.
“Did you just?—”
“I didn’t mean to!” I’m frantically trying to undo it. Tapping everything. Making it worse. “How do I—can I unfollow? Will it tell him I unfollowed? Oh god?—”
Another notification.
MarcusAshfordOfficial sent you a message
We both stare at the phone.
“Don’t open it,” Alex whispers.
“I’m not opening it.”
“Don’t even look at?—”
I open it.
The message is brief. Casual. Devastating.
MarcusAshfordOfficial: Hey Dylan! Great to connect outside the office.
There’s an emoji. He used an emoji. A smiley face, like we’re friends. Like he didn’t murder a woman three weeks ago. Like I’m not wearing her ring right now while reading his message.
“I’m going to be sick.” I drop the phone like it burned me.
Alex picks it up immediately. Reads the message. Her mouth opens. Closes. Opens again.
“Okay,” she says slowly. “Okay, actually this is good.”
“How is this good?” My voice cracks. “He’s following me. Marcus is now messaging me. He’s?—”
“Dylan.” She grabs my face, forces me to look at her. “Listen to me. This is good because now you look normal.”
“I don’t feel normal. I feel like I’m going to vomit. You’re doing that thing where you find the silver lining in a horror show.”
“It’s a gift.” She doesn’t even hesitate. “Also a curse. But mostly a gift.”
“This is not a gift situation, Alex.”
“Every situation is a gift situation if you’re optimistic enough.” Her face is dead serious. “Which I’m not, usually, but I’m trying very hard right now for your sake.”
My throat’s still tight, but I almost laugh anyway. “Okay. Fine. Explain the gift.”
“You followed him back like a regular person would. Like a paralegal who just got assigned to a high-profile client and wants to be professional and engaged.” Her voice is steady. Certain. “You look eager. Appropriately friendly. Exactly what he wants.”
I stare at her. “I panicked, and you’re telling me it looks strategic?”
“Yes.”
That should comfort me. It doesn’t. Because I can’t tell the difference anymore either.
