“You’re not speaking because you’re having second thoughts?” he finally asked, making Whisper raise his head.
I snuggled lower in the blanket and quietened my mind.
The outside world didn’t matter—not while we couldn’t access it.
Which meant this inside world was far more important because we had to live together. Hopefully harmoniously.
“I can’t convince you of something you don’t want to be convinced about.” I yawned, trying to stifle it into the pillow. “All I can do is tell you the truth.”
He didn’t move.
I waited for him to feign sleep or finally leave, but he shocked me as he slowly rolled onto his side, facing me. “What truth?”
My gaze locked on his mouth.
So close.
So perfect.
I followed the line of his nose, and I lost myself in his eyes.
I completely forgot what I wanted to say.
His throat worked as he swallowed, almost as if he was just as affected as I was.
Whisper huffed, popping up from the floor as if sensing something was going on that needed to be monitored. He placed both paws on the mattress and went to join us.
“Stay down there, you dumb beast,” Lucien ordered.
“Hey.” I scowled. “I told you not to call him dumb.”
“You’re sticking up for him now?”
I nodded, my hair catching on the pillow. “Someone has to after living with you for so long.”
His lips curved in the corners, almost against their will. Beneath all his lethal, murderous exterior, his soul didn’t seem to be made of the same steel imprisoning it. His heart was undeniably broken from loneliness and slightly insane from being trapped, but it was still functioning. Still...human.
I hope.
My own heart swelled and the constant pain in my head faded a little. Whatever healing I’d given him seemed to work both ways. The longer he lay beside me, hidden in the dark where no one else could see or judge us, the more I found peace that I hadn’t felt since before I became an orphan.
“The truth...” I whispered, wrenching his gaze back to mine as I answered his lingering question. “The truth is that you might be trapped in here because of your family’s company, but I ran away from mine because I couldn’t cope.”
He didn’t speak, his eyes dancing over mine as if trying to rip out my secrets faster than I could spill them.
“Your weakness is forced,” I continued quietly. “But me? My weakness is my own nervous system. I told you I prefer to avoid all kinds of pressure, work, and expectations. I’m sure I come across as lazy and entitled, but it’s a coping mechanism.”
Once again, he stayed silent, letting me try to put into words what the doctors had trouble diagnosing.
“There are few names for it and I’m unsure which one I fall into, but psychogenic syncope or functional neurological disorder is probably the closest.”
He didn’t move, his breathing even and steady.
“I get stress-induced blackouts and trauma migraines. However...” I licked my lips, highly aware as his gaze dropped, locking onto my mouth. “Working for you is the first time I’ve been able to handle stress in a very long time. It’s surprised me, actually. I should pass out every time I’m around you with how fast you make my heart race but...there’s something about you.”
I didn’t know what else to add without sounding as if I was using my own condition to manipulate him. I also didn’t want to sound like I was searching for pity and so...I stopped.
Silence fell again, dense and soft.
