It wanted to blow apart this estate.
To slaughter every man and woman responsible for my suffering.
But most of all?
Most of all I wantedher.
I wanted the way she looked at me, talked to me, touched me.
I wanted to know what it would feel like to give in.
But...what if she was like that room?
What if Rook had been planted in my cage to keep my mental health from shattering entirely? A mere program to keep medistracted with the illusion of connection? The hallucination of everything I’d been longing for and never had?
She was dangerous.
So,sofucking dangerous.
And I didn’t know how much longer I could last.
Out of countless women, numerous enemies, and two decades of agony, she might finally be the one to ruin me.
And if I didn’t find a way out of this hell soon...I might very well have to kill her to stop it.
Chapter Forty-Four
SLEEP REFUSED TO COME.
Dawn had broken and bled into early morning, and no matter how many times I flipped the pillow or flung myself onto my other side, sleep completely abandoned me.
All those moments I’d shared a stare with him, felt a flutter from him, suffered a throbbing between my legs because of him.
I couldn’t stop replayingeverything.
Every inconsequential thing clung to every monumental moment wheresomethinghad been flying between us.
I flopped over again, doing my best to forget the way he’d kissed me. How his fingers dug into my hips as he hoisted me from the cold water. How his—
“Ugh, will youstop?!”
Shoving the pillow over my face, I groaned into it.
My door flung open, banging against the wall.
Jackknifing up, I threw my pillow away and twisted toward the noise.
The urge to apologise for what I’d done last night—for making him do something he didn’t want to do, for encroaching on his privacy in the plunge pool—made me blurt, “Lucien, I can explain—”
“Explain?” A feminine voice echoed. “Explain what exactly?”
My eyes cleared and in the cloudy morning light, I recognised the two annoying gatekeepers that liked to guard the steps of Lucien’s palace. “Evelyn? Lydia? What are you doing here?”
Evelyn laughed quietly, dressed in her usual black leggings and top. “What did you do to Lucien Ashfall that requires an explanation?”
“We all know she’s banging him,” Lydia snipped. “Keeping him all to herself because she’s greedy and won’t share.”
“Pity.” Evelyn clucked her tongue, both coming closer. “The more the merrier.”
