My fingers strayed to my mouth, my lips still stinging from hers.
Every moment, of every day, I braced for pain.
I’d completely forgotten what it was like to breathe without wanting to howl. I lived in a constant clench against the scalding fire, but somehow, the longer she touched me, the quieter that pain became. My blood stopped burning. My bones stopped scorching.
Her touch chased every nightmare back into whatever hell they came from, and I couldn’t do it.
I’d grabbed her before I could think.
I’d turned my head before I could stop.
I’d kissed her with every drop of fear and betrayal, fury and agony I’d endured.
I hadn’t been gentle.
I’d been savage and desperate and drowning.
And for one impossible heartbeat, my imprisonment vanished. No fire. No agony. Just silence and peace andher.
Which fuckingpetrifiedme.
Standing in the shadows beneath a weeping willow in the grounds of Cinderkeep, I balled my hands and reinforced my decision never to get close to her again. No matter how much she made me feel, I couldn’t let down my guard.
Even if she wasn’t Marcus’s weapon.
Even if she was exactly what she said with no ulterior motives, I couldn’t find comfort in her because the only reason she was in here was to make me trip. To make me fall into pleasure and connection and ultimately sex, which would eventually lead to pregnancy because Marcus would’ve made damn sure every girl he tossed in here wasn’t on birth control.
My teeth clenched as yet another horrifying thought crushed me.
Marcus’s aim was to breed me—to gain multiple Ashfall offspring.
He would happily give me a harem of women to do with as I pleased, yet...what if I actually fell inlovewith one of them?
What if I gave away the only part of myself that wasn’t owned by another, only for it to be used against me?
He could threaten me, hurt me, and make me wish to die a thousand times over and I would never break.
But trap my heart in love?
What would I be willing to do if it meant I could keep her safe?
Vague memories of my parents filled my head. I stiffened as the past that my mind had systematically done its best to erase reminded me of how love had caused their demise. How sibling affection had been used against them in order to keep each other alive.
How they’d agreed to create me—purely so the other wouldn’t be slaughtered—only to willingly choose suicide when my birth wasn’t enough.
The board wanted more. They commanded them to continue forsaking the bonds of brother and sister and to procreate.
Instead, they’d abandoned me to suffer for them—
“Enough!” I snarled, my voice slicing through the quiet night.
Whisper flinched beside me, his glowing eyes searching mine with concern. My shoulders sagged as I rested my hand on his head. “I’m fine.”
He huffed as if he didn’t believe me.
But...I was telling the truth.
I might not have meant to kiss Rook. I might hate her for making me lose control and have zero intention of ever lettingsomething like that happen again, but her closeness had done something to me.
