“I guess I can watchRise of Skywalker,” Henry says hesitantly, sensing perhaps there’s more going on than I’m admitting to. He trudges over to the couch, plops down, and cues up the movie.
After changing out of my running clothes, I grab my own laptop and sit beside him, but I angle my screen so that he can’t see what I’m doing, which is searching medical sites for “signs of a heart attack in a woman.”
It turns out that in women, there’s not always chest pain in the minutes or hours before a cardiac arrest. They often experience vague or even “silent” symptoms, like fatigue, nausea or indigestion, light-headedness, and a cold sweat. I flash back to my encounter with Claire in the kitchen: her vaguelylistless manner, which could have been a sign of fatigue; the uneaten sandwich, which might have laid there untouched because she was feeling nauseated. And her face slightly shiny from perspiration.
If itwasa heart attack, that doesn’t mean it’s a death sentence. People have bypass surgery or get stents put in all the time. Like I told Bonnie, Claire’s incredibly strong, and she also has a ferocious zest for life.
Please, I think,let her be okay. Shehasto be.
I check the time on my laptop. It’s now close to seven o’clock, and Claire should be at the hospital by now, hopefully being seen right away by a great team. I wish Gabe would find a way to call.
I snap my laptop closed and glance over at Henry, who’s transfixed by the movie. A thought about Claire skirts around the edges of my mind, toying with my attention. But as hard as I try, I can’t manage to catch a hold of it.
“You hungry for a snack?” I ask.
“I thought you said to watch another movie.”
“I did, but if you’re hungry we can go up to the house and grab something for you.”
“Okay, yeah. Is Dad coming back?”
“Not for a while probably,” I tell him, hating to be so vague.
We end up entering the kitchen at the same time Bonnie is carrying in several finished flank steaks from the outdoor grill. She introduces us to a twentysomething-year-old guy named Jake, who is slicing tomatoes at the counter and then she helps me cobble together a plateful of items for Henry. I set him up at the kitchen table.
“You want a Coke with that?” I ask.
“My mom says I’m not supposed to drink soda with dinner.”
“Why don’t we make an exception tonight, since things are kind of crazy?”
“Really?”
The violation of house rules seems to brighten his mood, and while he digs into his dinner, I leave the kitchen in search of Keira. She’s alone in the living room, perched on the edge of a chair.
“I haven’t heard anything, have you?” I say.
“No, nothing.”
I sense she’s about to say more, but doesn’t. Maybe she’s annoyed we’re stuck holding down the fort while Wendy is at ground zero.
I find myself exhaling, a long, raggedy breath that’s been caught in my chest.
And then, nearly in unison, both our phones ring. Without thinking, I back a few steps into the front hall to answer mine. Gabe’s name is on the screen, and my heart skips as I answer. All I hear from the other end is a low, guttural sound, like an animal in pain.
“Honey, what’s happening?” I say. “Tell me.”
“Oh god,” he exclaims. “Mom didn’t make it. She’s dead, Summer.”
10
My knees buckle.No, I think. This can’t be true. But I hear my husband choke back tears and know it must be.
“Oh, Gabe,” I tell him. “I’m so sorry. Where are you—in the ER?”
“Yeah. She had a whole team working on her, but they couldn’t save her. They said it was a massive heart attack.”
I start to cry, the kind of hard cry that makes my shoulders shake, but I take a couple of fast breaths and force myself to pull it together. My sobbing won’t help Gabe a bit.
