My mother whom I miss and think of every day. My mother who, if she were alive, would surely be able to help me find a path out of this nightmare.
My phone rings and, yup, it’s Roger.
“Hey, Button,” he says, using a nickname my father once bestowed on me for being so buttoned-up about schoolwork. “Nice to hear your voice.”
“Nice to hear yours, too. How is the lord of the manor today?” Roger lives in an impeccably restored manor house along the banks of the Delaware River, a few minutes away from Millerstown, the town where we grew up.
“In fairly good form for a middle-aged man. Is everything okay?”
There’s an urgency to the last question.HadI made contact with him on Tuesday or Wednesday?
“What makes you say that?”
“Something in your voice. And Dad mentioned he hadn’t heard from you in a few days. You’re usually so Johnny-on-the-spot with your calls.”
“I had an issue this week, but I emailed him late last night.”
“What’s going on?”
“Something weird. But I don’t want Dad to know.”
“Talk to me.”
I blurt it all out, except for the part about the fight withHugh. As close as I am to Roger, I like keeping my marriage private.
“Ally, how awful for you. Do you feel you’re getting the best medical care?”
“I have a good therapist, and I’m going to see a neurologist for a second opinion. But I didn’t call you this week, did I?”
“No, we haven’t talked since last weekend. Gosh, I feel terrible. Tell me what I can do.”
“I mostly wanted to fill you in, but maybe we could get together soon, too.”
“Absolutely. You could come out for the day, have lunch here.”
Of course, any social engagement would surely have to be run by Roger’s wife, Marion, who seems to prefer having Roger all for herself.
“That’s sweet, but you don’t have to go to any trouble. I just want to see you—and also, to ask you some questions.”
I blurt out the last part without even seeing it coming—and against Erling’s advice.
“Are you wondering if there’s any family history with this sort of thing?”
“No one’s mentioned that as a factor. But lately I’ve been thinking a lot about what happened when I was nine, finding Jaycee Long. Dissociative states are sometimes caused by past trauma, and I’m wondering if that experience could have been a trigger.”
There’s a long pause, and I can picture him doing his usual little scratch on the side of his head.
“I’m not sure how much I can help, but I’ll try,” he finally says. “Though wouldn’t Dad be a better person to ask?”
“Probably, but if I start asking questions, I’m sure he’ll get suspicious, and I don’t want to upset him.”
“Good point. Well, I’m happy to talk, and actually, you may not need to drive all the way out. Marion surprised me with tickets for the New York Philharmonic Sunday afternoon and then we’re going to some friends’ apartment for dinner. We could grab a drink after the concert—maybe around five? Marion can shop or head to our friends’ place early.”
Thatismore convenient for me, but I can’t help but be bugged by the mention of the concert. Regardless of how many times I’ve invited him and Marion here for a Sunday brunch or suggested we grab a play and dinner in the city, he usually passes, bemoaning the fact that he’s become a bit of a homebody since his early retirement from a hedge fund. And now Marion’s organized a day in Manhattan without even factoring in me and Hugh. But really, I shouldn’t be taken aback. From the moment Roger married her a few years ago, she’s been boxing me out in lots of little ways that my brother doesn’t even seem to notice.
“Are you sure? I don’t want to throw off your plans.”
“No, I’m dying to see you, Button. I want to be there for you.”
