TUESDAY
7:00: still in bed
9:00–9:17: sent emails
WEDNESDAY
Possibly lunchtime: bought food at Eastside Eats
THURSDAY
8:05: arrived at Greenbacks
This offers next to nothing about where I was those days, especially after dark. What did I do for food? And where did Isleep? Somehow, no matter what it takes, I’m going to have to fill in the blanks.
But ultimately, I need answers to more than the “where?” and “when?” questions. I need to knowwhyI lost my sense of self. Was it really because of a fight with Hugh regarding kids?
Or was it instead—as Agarwal prompted me to wonder—because of a trauma from the past? The only thing that fits the bill is something that happened to me when I was nine years old. But that can’t be it, can it? Would a dreadful afternoon from so long ago really have made the wheels come off for me?
7
When I wake the next morning, I still feel exhausted and frayed at the edges. Hugh’s side of the bed is empty, though I detect the aroma of sautéing onions drifting from the living area. He’s making breakfast. Perched on the edge of the mattress, I quickly comb through my memory, praying that somehow the missing days have emerged as I slept, but they haven’t.
At least I’ve woken up in my own bed.
After dressing, I find Hugh at the stovetop, standing over a sizzling skillet with a Williams Sonoma dish towel tucked into his khakis. He smiles but I detect a wariness in his eyes.
“Hey, how you feeling?” he asks.
“Okay, I guess. Rested.” Though that’s a stretch. I didn’t crawl into bed again until after midnight.
“I thought you could use one of my pepper and onion omelets.”
“Fantastic... Why aren’t you dressed for work?”
“I figured I’d hang around here for the day. There’s nothing on my schedule that can’t be rearranged.”
I’d love his company, but he’s in the middle of a big caseat work, and I hate to take him from it. “Hugh, I promise I’ll be fine, and if you’re here, it’ll only make me feel more like a patient.”
He looks relieved. “Are you sure?”
“Yes, please.”
“Okay, but I’d really appreciate it if you stayed in today and just tried to relax.”
I nod, knowing I shouldn’t push myself.
“By the way,” he adds. “I’ve emailed a few people for neurologist recommendations, without saying what the issue is. I hope to have a name by later today. Any word from Dr. Erling?”
“Not yet, but I’m sure I’ll hear from her as soon she checks her email.”
“Let me know when you do. By the way, do you plan to tell your family what happened?”
“Roger, yes, but definitely not my dad. It would be too stressful for him.”
“How about my parents? Should I say anything to them?”
“Let’s not for now, Hugh. I’m counting on this sorting itself out, and I don’t want to worry them unnecessarily.”
