* * *
By the time I get to my shop, I almost feel human again.
‘Sugar & Spice’ is my baby. It’s a small chocolate shop downtown in Carmel. With exposed brick, warm lighting, and the smell of cocoa filling the air. I started this place from the ground up. With just my grandmother’s recipes, a pastry chef degree, and a whole lot of overconfidence.
I unlock the door, flip on the lights, and breathe in. Chocolate. Brown sugar. Home.
“You look like shit.”
I don’t even turn around. “Good morning to you too, Keke.”
My best friend and only employee slides in behind me, juggling two coffees and a bag of pastries from the bakery down the street. She’s been with me from day one. And… she’s a freaking pain in my ass. An adorable, loving, amazing one, but still a pain.
“I’m serious, babe. You’ve got bags under your eyes.” She hands me one of the coffees, studying me with narrowed eyes. “Is it the dreams again?”
I shake my head. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“That bad?” Keisha pushes.
“That GOOD!” I take a long sip and groan. “That’s the problem. They’re too good. I woke up mid-orgasm, Keish. Again!”
She whistles low. “Damn, Shadow Daddy be putting in the work.”
I can’t hold back my smile. “Don’t call him that.”
“What else am I supposed to call your dream boyfriend?” She asks, wagging her eyebrows.
I giggle like a damn schoolgirl before catching myself. “He’s not my boyfriend. He’s not even real! I need to get laid. That’s all this is. Sexual frustration manifesting as extremely vivid wet dreams.”
She shrugs. “So get laid.”
“It’s not that simple,” I reply as I’m starting to prep the kitchen. It’s Valentine’s Eve. The busiest time of the year in our business. I really don’t have time for any of this.
“It literally is. Download an app. Find an alpha. Let him blow your back.”
I shake my head, still busying myself around. “I tried, remember? Marcus from the gym?”
She lets out a dreamy sigh; her gaze getting lost. “Fine as hell, Marcus? Abs for days, Marcus…”
I nod, shaking my head through a small laugh. “Yeah, and he kissed me and I felt absolutely nothing. It was like kissing a mannequin. All I could think was… he doesn’t smell right. Doesn’t feel right.”
Keke is quiet for a moment. Then she shakes her head. “Babe, you’re comparing real men to a dream.”
I sigh. “I know.”
There’s concern in her voice when she adds, “That’s insane.”
“I KNOW.” I throw my hands up.
“Honey, you gave up on dating because nobody measures up to someone who doesn’t exist.”
I set my spatula down and stare at my bestie. The woman who’s like a sister to me. The only family I have left. “What do you want me to do, Keish? Mate some random alpha who does nothing for me because at least he’s real?” I shake my head. “I can’t…”
She squeezes my hand. “Maybe the universe is trying to tell you something.”
“Yeah? That I’m dick-starved and delusional?”
She rolls her eyes, but she’s smiling again. “Or that you’re waiting for someone.”
