The confession hung between us, fragile as the bubbles clinging to the sink drain. I gripped the counter’s cool edge until my knuckles matched the Carrara marble veins.
“He likes you. You’re our beloved. Liking and loving come with the bond.”
“Then what did I do wrong?” Her lower lip quivered. “I don’t like when he’s mad at me, but I can’t figure out what I’m doing wrong.”
“You don’t doanythingwrong, baby, and he’s not mad at you. Drink.”
She sipped obediently, leaving a cream mustache above lips I’d imagined biting a frankly inappropriate number of times today.
“If he’s not mad at me, why does he say mean things?” Tears jeweled her lashes. “The way he said my shoes were disgusting made it sound like he thoughtIwas—”
“The sneakers he put on you. You think he sent a staff member to the closest store to grab a random pair? No. He researched them. Made a spreadsheet. Drove two hours this morning to buy the ‘best’ pair just for you. That was the equivalent to an emotional outburst for him.” I leaned close enough to count the silver flecks in her eyes. “He wasn’t saying you were disgusting. He was saying, ‘I would carry you through every puddle from here to Timbuktu.’ ”
“So it’s not because I’m me? I know I’m not what he might have expected in a beloved.”
“You areeverythinghe wants in a beloved. Same for me and Zane.” Bleeding night.Casshould be in here saying these things, not me! “He likes you.” The words came out harsher than intended. Her flinch had me softening my tone. “I swear it. He’s just defective at emoting.”
“What?”
“Cas processes pain like an adamantine automaton. Feelings? Might as well ask him to juggle landmines.”
“That’s why he’s angry when he looks at me or talks to me sometimes?”
“It’s not anger, beloved. It’sworry. He’s in panic mode over you. Every time you limp past him clutching Brumous like a security blanket? That’s shrapnel in his sternum. When you flinch from raised voices? He hears the click of a safety disengaging.” When she only stared at me, head tilted to the side, I sighed. “Try to understand. We weren’t raised to feel like this.”
“Like what?”
“Like every breath you take rewrites our DNA.” The words spilled out raw, unvarnished. “Like we’d carve out our lungs if it meant hearing you laugh again.”
Too much too soon.Chiding myself, I stepped back, but she only reached out and placed her palm over my racing heart, those eyes sucking in every part of my soul.
Brumous’ alarmed yip seeped through the wall, followed by a bang reverberating through the room and Casimir’s roar of, “You are dead!”
“Are they fighting?” Seri clutched the edge of the counter, shoulders tightening and eyes wide.
“Depends.” I hoisted myself onto the counter beside her, boots knocking against the cabinets. “Does Zane consider ‘accidentally’ spilling coffee on Cas’ meticulous notes an act of war?”
“Should we intervene?”
“Nah. Let Cas work out his frustrations. Healthy sibling bonding. And Zane’s always ready to cause havoc.”
“He’s like a puppy with thumbs!” she said with a shy smile.
“A rabid shrew, more like.” I nudged her shoulder with mine, memorizing each freckle marching across the bridge of her nose when she turned to face me.
Zane’s booming “You did NOT just—” was cut short by a thud that rattled the pans in the cupboard. Seri jumped, sloshing cocoa. Picking up her hand, I licked the spill off her wrist without thinking, then froze at her sharp inhale. The stolen sweetness exploded across my tongue.
“Koko—”
“You said you trusted me, right?” I coaxed. “So trust that I’m telling you the truth about Cas.”
“But why does his worry come out sounding like anger?”
“He’s used to issuing commands, barking orders, threatening enemies.” I dumped a handful of popcorn into my mouth, chewing thoughtfully before continuing. “He’ll adapt eventually. You have to bepatient with him until then. For now, every time you think he’s mad at you, look at it as worry, not anger.”
“Hmm. I’ll try.”
“Good.” I scratched the back of my neck, knowing I needed to fess up. “So, um, I have to tell you, there’s a chance he’s listening to us right now.”
