“You want me to vibrate my fist into your face?” Koa growled low in his throat.
Sweet Jesus, he looked like he’d tear me in half if I sneezed wrong!
It was the third one, however, who unnerved me the most. He stood like a statue, tall, regal in his navy three-piece suit, his waist-length blond hair as straight as a sword’s edge. I swore the air crackled around him, and when his gaze flicked to me, I briefly wondered if it was too late to fake my own death and escape this room. His green eyes… I did not know how to describe them, save to say I had never felt morestudiedin my life. As if I were something small and skittering he could crush if he so chose.
“Casimir Cimmerian, Mr. Webster. Thank you for coming.”
Heaven, save me. I’d heard aboutthisone. People whispered that his mother was a Valkyrie, and now I was inclined to believe it.
Well, what did I expect dhampir monster hunters to be like?I asked myself.
I’d been told to tread carefully, and five minutes in their company told me why, but when the vampire king asks you to perform a little wedding for his sons at their estate, you don’t say no. Even if you are a human.
Especiallyif you are human.
I adjusted my glasses, suppressing a shiver as I wondered if I’d survive the day.
“Yo, Brum-Brum!” Zane shouted suddenly. “Put a hustle in your bustle! You’re holding up the show!”
Who?! Surely he isn’t talking to the bride that way!
I turned and froze at the wolf pup who entered the room.
Andof courseit wouldn’t be anormalwolf pup. This thing was the size of a Great Dane, still obviously a pup, but with an alarming set of claws and unsettling blue eyes. He was currently wearing a top hat.A top hat.Complete with a black silk vest. And in his mouth was a ring pillow. Which he was actively chewing.
“Aw, c’mon, Brummy! You had one job,” Zane sighed from the piano bench. “Just carry the pillow. I told you this like eight times.”
The wolf did not care. The pillow was being disemboweled as four golden bands vanished down his throat.
That was the moment I knew this ceremony was destined for disaster.
“Brumous!” Koa groaned. “You atethe rings?!”
“Retrieve them, Z,” Casimir ordered.
“And how would you like me to do that, hmm? Use telepathy to politely ask his intestines to return them?”
“You could reach in and get them,” Koa suggested with a grin. “You got those long piano fingers. Bet they’d fit right down his throat.”
“Absolutely not.”
“Or we could just marry her without the rings,” Koa shrugged. “I’m going to be her legal husband, anyway. You two will only be her side pieces.”
“We haven’t even rolled the die yet, Koa,” Zane argued. “Besides, I’m literally the one playing her wedding music. That’s husband energy if I’ve ever seen it.”
“And I’m the one who carried her inside when we found her half-dead in the driveway,” Koa shot back. “Husband energy.”
“I’m the one who debrided the infectiontwice,sewed up her armtwice, and set her dislocated ankle,” Casimir deadpanned. “Husband energy.”
“Bleeding night!” Zane groaned, dragging a hand down his face. “Wearenot measuring our husband energy right now. Can we just—”
“Fix. The. Ring. Problem. Z,” Casimir rumbled, and I swore lightning flickered behind his green eyes.
“How?!” Zane threw his hands up. “What do you want me to do? Order him to have a digestive reversal?”
Still, he stood and lunged for Brumous, who seemed startled by the sudden motion and took off in a streak of charcoal gray, pillow stuffing and a shred of silk hanging from his jaw. Zane dove after him, narrowly missing as the wolf launched himself under the piano.
“Eight out of ten, Brumous,” Casimir called. “Minus two for poor choice of cover. Far too easy to access. Capture imminent.”
