Maggie looks like she might faint into her pudding. Her smile is robotic, and her eyes saucer wide, the colour draining from her cheeks.
I lean closer, murmuring, ‘You alright?’
‘Mm-hm,’ she lies. ‘It’s just a lot coming from my little sister, you know, used to play Barbies.’
‘Maybe Operation would have been more her style.’
A microphone appears out of thin air.
A member of staff presses it into Maggie’s hand. I don’t remember her saying anything about speeches. Maggie looks at the microphone like it’s a live grenade about to blow in her face.
If anything’s blowing in her face?—
No. Roman. Focus.The last thing I need to add to this evening is a fucking boner.
‘Oh,’ she says, loud enough that heads turn. ‘Oh. No. That’s— I?—’
Evan beams at her. ‘A few words, darling. For the guests. You’re the eldest.’
Maggie’s throat bobs as she reluctantly gets to her feet, fidgeting with the bottom of the microphone and looking ready to make for the nearest exit. I pull my chair back a touch because if she’s going, I’m going with her.
Her knuckles grow pale where she grips the mic too tightly, and when she first tries to speak, there’s an ear-splitting feedback screech. Red fills her cheeks as she winces.
Then she looks at her dad, and her shoulders drop an inch. Resignation.
Evan appears tired tonight. Likely my fault for our drinking session. But it was that or more golf, and I’m bloody awful at it.
‘I—right. Hello.’ Her voice wobbles. ‘Thank you all for coming. I know it’s a long way for a lot of you. And the weather is decidedly wet, as usual.’
Polite laughter ripples.
‘I just wanted to say that I’m grateful that you’re all here. For my family. For Dad and Priscilla. Us kids. Well, we’re not kids, obviously. I’m almost thirty, for god’s sake.’ Oh god. She’s babbling. ‘But you know what I mean, we’re their kids. Not Priscilla’s, obviously. Well, James is…’
She pauses and swallows as people stare.
‘I’ve spent a long time living in London, as many ofyou know,’ she says, words tumbling. ‘Like I can opt out of family life. Because sometimes distance makes things easier. And I joke about it, because joking is easier than admitting I’m scared of getting it wrong.’
My chest tightens as the mic quakes in her grip.
‘But lately I’ve realised that maybe not being involved is its own kind of risk.’ Her gaze flicks briefly to Priscilla. ‘That leaving everything to other people doesn’t necessarily keep anyone safe.’
Confused looks pass between the other family members, everyone trying to figure out where Maggie is going with this.
‘I know I’ve resisted what’s expected of me, but maybe it’s time I stepped up properly. Took some responsibility.’
Oh no.
Her eyes lift, and I see a decision click into place. One that I know she’ll regret in the morning when the moment has passed. She’s caving to pressure, and while I may not have truly known her long, I know she doesn’t want this.
Because she thinks it will protect her father if she’s close.
Because it might make her dad happy to have her there.
No matter what she needs.
Eddie leans forward in his chair, looking like that lizard who gets the eggs in a favourite childhood movie of mine.
My chair crapes back, and before I know it, I’m on my feet, not the focal point of many of those stares.
