There it is. The awful reality of my world. Well, the world I’mtryingto escape.
‘Looked at you,’ Roman repeats.
‘For too long,’ I add, not that it makes it any better.
His silence is suffocating. I immediately want to somehow explain it better. Not that there is any way I can reasonably explain Eddie. He’s a fucking nutjob.
‘He said it was his animalistic instincts,’ I babble. ‘That men like that needed to know which women were acceptable to letch on, and which weren’t. That he couldn’t help himself. Which was obviously a massive fucking red flag. Even if the professor had been into me—which he absolutely wasn’t—you can’t just go deleting him.’
Roman stares out at the road, jaw tight.
‘And you dated him,’ he says.
‘I didn’t know! Not at first. We met at university, and he was charming and attentive. Thoughtful. It felt romantic at first until it was all too much. Like being toyed with by a predator before it eats you.’
‘And when you found out?’
‘I ended it. Then he told me that I’d always be his. Which is a lot for any relationship, far less one that killed someone in front of you.For you. ’
‘And you want me to pretend to be your boyfriend while that maniac is around?’
‘Kind of.’ I give a little shrug.
Roman exhales. ‘And your dad wants you to marryhim?’
‘He’dlikeme to, but really, what he wants is for me to stop pretending I’m normal and start pulling my weight in the family business.’
‘Pulling your weight how?’ Roman focuses on the passing trees, while I die a little inside with each sentence.
I hesitate. My hands are clammy on the wheel.
‘By killing people,’ I whisper through gritted teeth. ‘For money. It’s not like I haven’t tried. I’m just really very bad at it.’
Roman turns to me fully. ‘You’ve tried to kill people? Your father wants you to become a contract killer?’
He looks bloody terrified. Which is fair. I suppose. Not every day you get coerced into fake dating a killer. A failed killer.
‘Yes. But as of yet, I haven’t been successful.’
‘Do you want to be successful at it?’
‘Fuck no. I want to do my shitty little office job, and maybe get a dog. I can barely even look at my own blood without getting dizzy.’ I chew on my lower lip as he leans back against the headrest, his hands flexing beneath the zip ties.
‘So you kidnapped me, knowing it would be dangerous? Your whole family, and their friends, just murder people for a paycheck.’
‘When you put it like that, it doesn’t sound great.’
‘You are taking me to a house full of psychos. What if Eddiekillsme?’
Panic flares hot. ‘He probably won’t.’
‘Probably?’
‘As long as my family likes you, you’ll be fine. They’re not going to let Eddie ruin the wedding. We try not to mix blood with pleasure. As much as possible.’
He gives me a look. ‘That is the least reassuring sentence I’ve ever heard.’
‘I know. I’m sorry for dragging you into all this. Really.’ My breath stutters as I hit the indicator and turn onto yet another tree-lined lane. One I’ve driven all too many times.
