And with that, he winks and takes off, swinging the bag innocently, like he didn't just make me pop a boner in public.
8
Clayton
"Do you enjoy working in finance?" Vaughn asks.
We've finished a delicious Chinese takeout dinner on the aft deck and are now sitting back, enjoying the panoramic view of the ocean, in prime position to admire the sunset on the horizon.
"Leo or Rove tell you about that?" I ask, pleased that he's interested enough to be asking about me.
He lets out a quiet ahem. "Neither. I've been doing some…research."
"Part of your job, too?" I tease.
I'm intrigued by this guy. He has an uncanny ability to go from being mysterious and intense to switching gears and giving me shit about the size of my yacht. He's aloof, even distant sometimes, but then he watches closely enough to know my daily schedule. Part of my job, my ass.
"No." The word snaps me out of my head. "Something I have to do now. For our safety." His eyes drift to Mabel.
"I see."
I don't see.
I didn't prod him over dinner the other night, and I haven't been fishing for information the few times I've run into Leo and Rove since then, either, but I amdyingto know what his deal is. What the hell kind of trouble is Vaughn caught up in?
An idea pops into my head. It's an approach I often take with my older brother, Bremmer. Much like Vaughn, he gives nothing away. Total closed book. I'm the opposite. I've always been emotionally attuned to how I'm feeling and have never struggled with communicating. Rather than peppering Bremmer with questions, which is almost always guaranteed to be futile, I find that by opening up to him, it sometimes makes him feel safe to do the same in return. Key word: sometimes. Figure it's worth a shot with Vaughn.
"I enjoy my work," I say, lifting my bottle of European beer—the closest I could get geographically to where Vaughn is from that's stocked at the local liquor store. "I've always been good with numbers. It's a language I'm able to instinctively understand, you know?"
Vaughn nods. "I do. I never once saw my grandmother use a recipe. Or write anything down. She just knew."
"I'm that way with numbers." I take a long pull from the bottle. "Love, on the other hand, remains a total mystery."
Our eyes meet, but he quickly looks away. The setting sun illuminates his striking cheekbones, clings to his lips and the bridge of his nose, catches on his dark lashes.
Something stirs within me.
We watch the sun sink into the water in silence. Except for Mabel who has a sudden burst of energy, kicking her legs wildly and flailing her tiny arms.
The top rim of the sun dips beneath the horizon line, and I'm starting to doubt Vaughn will take the bait I laid out and open up. But then, he surprises me.
"Is that why you're up here?" he asks, focusing on Mabel, not me. "Love gone wrong?"
"That obvious is it?"
"No. It's just…" He lifts his chin up and takes in all the boats swaying gently on the water in front of us, each one filled with someone running away from something. "A lot of people come here to heal."
"I can see why. It's doing me a world of good." I wait to see if he'll ask a follow-up, but since lightning doesn't look like it's about to strike twice, I decide to be more forthcoming unprompted. "I was in a relationship with Melinda…and River."
His eyebrows tug together ever so slightly. "Two women?"
"No. A woman and a man. Melinda and I were together for a few years. We met through a dating app that boasted a ninety-seven percent chance of success. I was convinced she was the one. We were so happy. One weekend, we were at our holiday house in Byron Bay with her gay best friend River who was nursing a broken heart. We ate. We drank too much. We played truth or dare. River and I ended up kissing that night on Melinda's dare, and over the course of a few months, the three of us grew closer until it made more sense to be together than it did to not be. Things were going so well, at least I thought so, until they sat me down one evening…and broke up with me."
I stop talking, flying too close for comfort to emotions I've been doing my best to keep in a holding bay until I'm ready to deal with them. The truth is, I'm not only still confused as fuck over why my relationship fell apart in the first place but also about what this means for my sexuality. Did I develop feelings for River and was I able to be physically intimate with him because Melinda was there? Did the three of us have some sort of once-in-a-lifetime magic? Will I be interested in other guys now that Melinda and River are no longer in my life?
"We should probably get going," Vaughn says softly, and I can't blame him for wanting to bail.
I recognize the look. It's the same one that often crosses Bremmer's face whenever I burst into his office and pour my heart out to him. I've probably made Vaughn supremely uncomfortable.
