Luc groaned and kissed Dex’s soft lips, his earthy scent taking on a floral quality. “You’ve been a good captive.”
Dex’s relaxed muscles tensed. “Don’t let me go.”
“I’m not. I’m keeping you close, telling you how much you pleased me. How good you were. I’m not saying you were a good captive because I’m letting you go.”
Dex nodded, trembling slightly.
Luc rolled them onto their sides, his cock slipping from Dex’s body. He stretched the wing nearest the mattress back and out of the way, the other folding over them like a cocoon.
“Don’t go,” Dex whispered again.
Luc tightened his arms around him. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here with you. I’ve got you.” Dex’s body gave another shudder. “You’re safe, Dex. I’m here and you’re safe.”
He squirmed, pressing closer. Luc welcomed him, draping his tail over Dex’s thigh and kissing his forehead.
“I don’t want this to be over,” Dex whispered, the hint of urgency in his tone setting Luc on alert.
Dex needed reassurance, but Luc had to find the right way to express it. Clearly, saying he wasn’t leaving wasn’t enough. “Why don’t you want it to be over?”
“I—I don’t know. It’s overwhelming. I don’t know what to do.”
Luc rubbed Dex’s back, his heart clenching. “You don’t have to do anything, sweet boy. The scene is done, but I’ve still gotyou. You don’t have to worry. I’m not going anywhere. You’re good. So, so good. You gave me so much pleasure, everything I wanted.”
Dex clung to him, nodding against his neck. Luc murmured more reassurance in Dex’s ear, cuddling him like the precious soul he was, praising him and giving him love, even if Luc didn’t use that particular word.
“Whatever you’re feeling is normal, Dex. You can tell me. You can say or do anything without worrying about what will happen next. I promise.”
Dex’s grip on Luc loosened, and he shifted until their eyes met. “Anything?”
“Yes, anything. I want all of you, remember?”
“Yeah.” Dex’s lips twitched upward. “I feel better now. I don’t know why I got so scared for a second.”
Did he not know, or was it just hard to voice? “Would you like to talk about it?”
Dex hesitated. “Okay, but I don’t know what to say.”
“You feared me leaving. Was it rejection that scared you? Is that what the scene ending felt like?”
“No…” Dex took a moment to put his words together. “Having you in control was a relief. I didn’t have any worries. That hasn’t happened in a long time. I’ve been low-key afraid for years, holding back because I was scared of losing anyone, and I hate it. I’ve got so much happening in my head, and the idea of it all coming back hurt. I didn’t want this to be over because then I’d have to face it all again.”
Luc felt his mate’s pain. They might not be bonded, but Dex’s emotion was plain on his face, the set of his shoulders, the way his fingers flexed against Luc’s chest. Luc welcomed it all.
“Even when you’re not my captive and I’m not controlling you, you can count on me and share your worries.”
Dex bit his lip. “I know. But being free from it all was so…well, freeing.” He huffed a laugh. “That was articulate.” He swallowed and tried again. “Being scared like I wanted was even better than I imagined, but when the actual stuff I’m scared of was coming back, I didn’t want to let go. It was too much all at once.”
“I’m sure it was. Fear is a powerful emotion.” Fear could do horrible things. It had led Luc to his darkest moments. “Wanting to avoid what frightens us is only natural.”
“Yeah…but I also crave fear. Obviously. I asked you to scare me, and being hunted was the most thrilling thing that’s ever happened to me. The adrenaline. The raw desire. It was so pure and hot. Is that weird?”
“Wanting to be scared and enjoying it? No. Your desires aren’t weird. Recognizing that you can take something you struggle with and make it yours is a powerful thing.”
Luc knew that from experience. His desire for control could take him to bad places, but he could mold that desire to reflect his morals and take charge for the good of his partner. That’s what gave him pleasure and got him off, and it had nothing to do with what he’d done, trapping everyone in Hell.
His desire for control wasn’t weird or wrong in and of itself, and Luc wasn’t afraid he’d cross any lines with Dex. What Dex wanted was always at the front of his mind, even when they played with denial. Dex wanted to please Luc. He got pleasure out of being good and putting Luc first, and felt free when he wasn’t in control.
If Dex didn’t enjoy these things, Luc wouldn’t ask them of him.
