Maria let out a dry laugh as she took over unrolling the wide curler. “Why wouldn’t I come?”
Vanessa could think of a hundred reasons, starting with her mother’s disapproval of her modeling career, and ending with the simple truth that shed hated events like this.
Maria focused on taking the other roller out, herconcentration on Vanessa’s hair. Her voice was soft when she said, “Luciana told us that the person harassing you has been getting closer. She is worried that tonight he might try something. Do you think I would stay at home knowing my daughter was in danger?”
Vanessa’s eyes flew to meet her mother’s in the mirror, but Maria remained focused on her task.
“I’m not in danger tonight, Mom.” There was no way to guarantee that, but would someone really make a move on her in the middle of a massive event with celebrities from all over Portland present? It seemed unlikely.
“Obsessed people are unpredictable, Vanessa. Your sister told me this person took pictures of you, followed you, lurked outside your apartment. I worry. When I worry about my children, I want to be close to them. Does that make me a bad mother?” Maria reached over Vanessa’s shoulder and picked up the brush sitting on the vanity. Gathering Vanessa’s hair in her hands, she ran the brush down the length.
“You’re not a bad mother,” Vanessa told her, mollified.
“Hmm.” Maria brushed in silence.
Vanessa had spent so long wanting to escape home, she sometimes forgot the special memories she left behind. Her parents were so over the top with their suffocating rules and expectations that she’d rarely taken the time to embrace the sweeter moments of her childhood. Like hair brushing.
When she was young, her mother would come into her room every night to brush her hair and give her a blessing. It was the first thing she missed when she moved away—the comfort of knowing her parents were in the house. The protection that surrounded her even when the walls were stifling.
Maria surprised her by saying, “I made mistakes with you.”
In the mirror, Vanessa saw Maria shrug one shoulder. “I treated you like I treated Luciana, and I shouldn’t have. From the moment you were born, you were two very different girls.”
Vanessa scoffed. “Yeah, Lucy was easier.”
“No.” Maria stopped brushing and studied her daughter in the mirror. “There is no easy when you are a parent. There is only love.” She went back to brushing. “And I love you both the same. I know you don’t believe that, but it’s the truth.”
Embarrassed by the accuracy of her mother’s words, and feeling like she’d been called out, Vanessa lowered her gaze. Though she never doubted her parents loved her, she never shook the feeling that she was a disappointment to them. Never obedient enough, respectful enough, studious enough, never…enough.
“I regret not going with you to New York when you were sixteen.”
Vanessa watched her mother, but Maria was focused on the crown of Vanessa’s head.
“It was probably best that Luciana went instead of me. She was always better with you. Closer. She knows how to talk to you and support you in a way that I don’t. But—” Maria sighed, then continued in Italian. “I’m your mother. It should’ve been me with you, and I wonder every day if things would have been different if I had been there to protect you.” Her mother’s voice cracked, sending panic skittering through her.
Her mother never cried. Her father, yes, but Maria? Vanessa wasn’t even sure she had tear ducts.
“Mom, I don’t think you could’ve stopped anything that happens in that industry. I was young and caught up in the glamor. I didn’t know who to trust and assumed everyonewanted what was best for me. I know better now. I had to live to learn.” She was still learning, if her recent interaction with Kurt meant anything. “I have no one but myself to blame.”
Her mother lifted her gaze to the mirror, and thankfully, her eyes were clear. “Basta! I don’t want to hear you blame yourself because grown men who should know better hurt you. You were a child, and they took advantage of you. There was never a moment I thought it was your fault, and neither should you.”
She’d never heard her mother defend her so fiercely. She’d spent most of her life avoiding conversations like this, but now she wondered if that was a mistake.
“Well, maybe I wish you were there after all.” She offered a soft smile. “I could’ve used your help with my producer up in Vancouver.” What she wouldn’t give to see her mother take on Kurt.
Her mother sneered. “Deficiente,” she murmured under her breath. “Quel bastardo ragiona solo con il pisello.”
Vanessa gasped. “Mom!” She would’ve been grounded if her parents had heard her talk like that.
Maria shrugged once more. “What? It’s true. He thinks with his wrong brain. His wife should have left him years ago. If he mistreats women to satisfy his own urges, he deserves prison, not marriage and a family.”
She didn’t bother asking how her mother knew about Kurt’s wife leaving him. She’d told Lucy everything, and there were no secrets in their family. Like ever.
“Okay, who are you and what have you done with my mom?” It was weird hearing her mother speak so crudely, but at the same time, hearing Maria defend her so vehemently felt…good.
Maria raised her eyebrows as she parted Vanessa’s hairand started brushing a new section. “I’m stating facts, Vanessa. He deceived you and his wife. There is no place for a man like that in society. He doesn’t even deserve the title. A real man is someone like your father, your uncles, Joel.” There was a loaded silence as she calmly continued brushing. “A real man defends women and protects them. He doesn’t use them for his own gain.”
Her thoughts went straight to Jordan. How could they not? He’d been her fiercest protector these last few weeks.
