He rattled off a few more rules regarding her “safety” on this trip, and she zoned in and out, already missing his relaxed aura from the bedroom.
“Vanessa,” he said sharply, forcing her back to the present. “I need you to take this seriously.”
She whipped her head toward him, hair catching in the wind and fluttering around her. “Is that what you think? That I’m not taking this seriously? Someone has been following me and invading my privacy for months. He could’ve physically hurt me or even killed me several times over by now. I think I’m taking this pretty fucking seriously.”
To prove it, she got up in one fluid movement. “Give me twenty minutes to shower, pack, and clean up after Nigel. Then we can leave.”
There was no more talking after that, but the silence became less comfortable. More weighted with the apprehension of all the things yet to come. She needed her phone back, needed to call her agent and fine-tune details.
Jordan was preoccupied too, in full alpha bodyguard mode. Every so often, he’d step outside to make a hushed phone call, before returning to do his final checks before locking up.
As she quietly packed her things, questions filled her head. How long before he came back here? Would he ever bring her again? Would he want her to leave a spare set of clothes here? Would he miss her in bed when he came back alone?
Wouldhe come back alone?
She didn’t like that train of thought, so she went to the living room in search of Nigel. She found Jordan, holding him in his carrier.
“Ready?” His stoic tone was like a rusted butter knife to her heart.
So she did what she did best and plastered a smile on her face.
“Yep, let’s go.” She turned on her heel and headed out the door before he could see the tears invading her eyes. She didn’t stop for one last look, didn’t ask if they could take one last selfie on the porch. Instead, she simply walked out, as if she weren’t leaving her heart behind.
The ride back to Portland seemed quicker than the ride to Cannon Beach. All too soon, she was trudging up the steps to the apartments with Jordan trailing her. Giving Nigel back to a jet-lagged and rumpled Ivy and Seanwas worse than she thought. Ripping the Band-Aid off quickly, she avoided conversation and handed him over before her tears flooded the hallway.
Jordan cleared his throat as she hurried to her door and fished her key out of her pocket. The key he’d given her hung heavy around her neck. She couldn’t bring herself to take it off, even though he wouldn’t be across the hall anymore. Knowing it was there made her feel safer.
She gave him a wary side-eye, not in the mood for small talk. She wanted a bath, a bed, and a good old-fashioned sob into her pillow.
“What’s up, Zeus? You seem…” She gave him a once-over. “Twitchy.”
“Natalie’s in your apartment.”
She froze. “Why?”
“Because I asked her to stay with you tonight.” To his credit, he didn’t avert his gaze. In fact, he rolled his shoulders back, standing taller. Facing the guillotine with his head held high.
“Why don’t you stay with me tonight?” She’d foolishly assumed that was the only option.
He ran his hand over his short, clipped hair. “There’s a lot to sort out for the next few days. Putting in security at an event we have no control over is going to be tricky, especially at short notice. There are logistics I’m still working on.”
“Logistics,” she echoed. Right, back to being a job now. Got it. “Well, you hop to it then. And I’ll go have a slumber party with Nat.” She turned to the door, but he caught her by the wrist.
With her back to him, she waited, shoulders tense, fighting the urge to turn around. Seconds ticked by, everything she wanted him to say hanging in the silence.
Then his grip loosened, and he stepped away. “Get some sleep. Tomorrow will be a long day.”
Tears burned as she wrenched the door open and stumbled inside the apartment, desperate to escape. She needed Nigel, but in his absence she pressed her shaking hand to her heart, as if the pressure could hold it together.
“Okay, spill.” Natalie waltzed toward her with a smirk. “Are we talking cucumber-sized or eggplant-sized?” Her smile froze when her gaze met Vanessa’s. She rushed forward. “Oh fuck. What did he do?”
That was the thing. He hadn’t done anything wrong. He’d been wonderful. Protective. Put her first, every time.
But he hadn’t even offered to come in, never mind stay the night.
And with no words for the ache in her chest, she collapsed into her cousin’s arms and sobbed.
CHAPTER FORTY-SIX
