Relationship. The word was scary and big. The disastersshe’d experienced in the past had led to the absolute destruction of herself. One had betrayed her trust in the worst possible way. The other had corrupted her so completely she ended up unrecognizable even to herself. She hated who she’d become when she’d been with them.
And still she’d called thoserelationships. But this connection with Jordan was already so much bigger than anything she’d ever had with anyone else. She wanted to be with him, but more than that, she wanted what was best for him. She wanted him to be happy.
She imagined him flying to New York for a weekend. Or waiting in Portland until the next time she had a window to return. She imagined the stress of keeping their relationship out of the limelight.
It was doable, but was it what she wanted for him?
Abruptly, he rounded the counter and came to her, so close she had to tilt her head to maintain eye-contact. He cupped her chin, his thumb brushing her cheekbone. “You’ve been crying.”
“Not really,” she mumbled, embarrassed that he’d caught her in a moment of self-pity.
When he didn’t look away, or seem convinced, she pointed at Nigel, still munching carrot peels on the kitchen floor. “I blame him. I don’t want to give him back.”
The tears rushed in again. She wasn’t sure if she moved first or if he tugged her toward him, but the next thing she knew, she was buried against his chest, her tears soaking his shirt.
“I should’ve known better than to get attached,” she sobbed. To Nigel. To him.
Jordan held her, his grip around her shoulders tightening, like he knew exactly what she meant.
After a long moment, she drew away. She had plans fortonight, and a pity party wasn’t one of them. “I need ten minutes.”
The line between his eyes creased. “Why?”
She offered him a soft smile. “Because this is our last night together here, and I don’t want to waste it.”
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
Jordan lay on the bed, shirtless, hands tucked behind his head, staring at the ceiling. He imagined painting the walls the palest blue, like the dress she was wearing, so he’d always remember her and this night. If he could find a way to preserve the smell she left on his sheets, he’d do that too.
Tomorrow loomed like a battle call to a war he wasn’t sure he was ready to fight. He had no idea what awaited her in New York. Maybe nothing?
Part of him wanted to hide her here forever. The two of them, the salt-licked air, the soft lull of the waves outside. But he’d spent enough time in a cell to recognize one when he saw it. They weren’t always metal bars and concrete walls. There might be beach glass and driftwood here, but this house was still her prison.
Anywhere would be until he found the person that was hunting her.
“You know, for a man who is about to get supremely laid, you look far too pensive.”
His head jerked to the door, where Vanessa appeared…wrapped in a bow. He blinked slowly, but the image didn’t evaporate. His heart leaped into his throat as he jolted upright.
“Oh no, big guy, you lie back down. I’ve decided you might be more fun when you’re lying down like that.” She stepped all the way inside the room, and he let his gaze roam greedily over her body.
She wore a white, lacy thong and a giant pink bow knotted between her breasts. Where had she even gotten that? He decided it didn’t matter when she started toward the bed, one smooth, toned leg brushing against the other in her signature model walk.
“Hands on the headboard, Zeus,” she ordered, and something about her sharp tone had his dick twitching. “You need a written request?” She asked, arching a brow.
He bit back a grin. He kind of liked this domineering side of her, unexpected as it was. “That might be nice,” he said, keeping his tone purposefully neutral.
“You know,” she said, bristling, “I’m trying to give you your Valentine’s present. It would be nice if you behaved for once.”
As he hoped, his reply had gotten a rise out of her. “Funny, that sounds like the same thing I’ve been saying to you since…” He rolled his eyes upward, thoughtfully. “Oh, I don’t know, since I met you.” When he met her gaze again, she was pouting, and he went hard as a fucking rock.
Not wanting her to change her mind, he offered a good-natured smile and reached behind him to grab the headboard. “Is this the part where you tie me up?”
She quirked her lip. “Do you want me to?”
He glanced at the pink sash around her breasts. “Maybe.”
Whatever game they were playing, they only hadtonight, and he was ready to give her anything she wanted. He flexed his fingers around the rails at the thought of Vanessa having her way with him and caught her eyes tracking his biceps as they tensed.
