Great, now Hope was waddling toward them. He straightened in his chair and reached under the table to grasp Lucy’s knee in a protective gesture.
“What is it?” she asked, placing her hand over his under the table, and the touch nearly distracted him enough toforget his sister was approaching with a look of determination.
“She’s coming,” he whispered.
“Who’s coming?” Lucy whispered back, moving her hand to his upper thigh, leveraging herself to look behind her shoulder.
Christ.Jesus. Her hand was an inch away from his dick, but she might as well have been stroking it by the way he was reacting.
Bloody hell. Now he was going to have to face down his sister about his no longer secret engagement with a raging hard-on. Perfect.
Somewhere from heaven, an angel rang a bell, and his sister halted in mid-waddle.
The bell rang again, and Ruby shouted, “Time to eat the cupcakes!”
When Gabe came up and took Hope’s hand and lead her to the cupcake table, Joel released the breath he’d been holding in a low whoosh. Lucy rubbed her hand up and down his thigh, as if to get his attention. His pants were so tight now, he’d have to remain sitting for at least a half an hour.
“Who’s coming?” Lucy asked again. “What are you talking about?”
He was about to come if she didn’t stop touching him, that’s who. He gripped the innocent fingers under the table and moved their joined hands to her lap.See how you like it, honey, he thought as he ran his fingertips along her upper leg, skimming the thin fabric of her dress. When she sucked in a sharp breath, a surge of victory hit him.
“Nothing,” he murmured into her ear. “False alarm.”
When Lucy swallowed and nodded, he smirked, satisfiedthat he wasn’t the only one turned on at a gender-reveal garden party.
Gabe and Hope took the top two cupcakes off the tower, which were both covered with white frosting, and made a production of counting down to taking a bite.
Joel marveled at his brother-in-law. Gabe’s curmudgeonliness was his brand, and while Joel was sure he’d softened somewhat since getting together with Hope, he still had a reserved, vaguely pissed off way about him. Given all he’d gone through, Joel couldn’t blame him. And yet, here Gabe stood under a bright balloon archway, holding a white cupcake, posing for an invasive amount of photographs, and grinning from ear to ear like he couldn’t wait to post this on the family Instagram account that Hope had mentioned she’d started.
Hope was an enchantress, and Gabe was head over heels in love with his new life. Ruby ran up to her father, and he swung her into his arms. At the final countdown, he held his cupcake so they could take a bite from either side together. Hope simultaneously took a bite of her own.
When pink icing oozed from the center, Ruby’s fists pumped the air as she whooped with joy, cupcake flying out of her mouth. Hope threw her arms around Gabe and Ruby in a group hug as the crowd cheered and clapped. Gabe’s rumbling laugh sounded stunned and elated at the same time. He looked a little shell-shocked but happier than Joel had ever seen him.
The unbidden memory of Lucy telling him four years ago that she was pregnant hit him like a Mac truck out of nowhere.
In that moment, he too had felt the most terrified and happiest he’d ever been in his life. He too had choked out anastonished laugh, half shock, half overwhelming emotion, when Lucy had softly uttered the words.
With pink icing sticking to their lips, the expectant parents kissed, and something coiled in Joel’s gut, snaking its way up his chest and lodging in his throat. The sensation was unfamiliar and awful. Not quite resentment, he’d never begrudge his sister this happiness, but it was ugly, and it left a bitter taste at the back of his throat. He drank deeply from his glass, but the cool champagne did little to ease the sourness.
Beside him, he heard a sniff.
“A girl,” Lucy whispered.
Her eyes were blurred and lost, but so beautiful Joel caved into the longing that had been pounding inside him, into his need to comfort her and be comforted by her. He cradled her against his chest and pressed a kiss to her temple.
“It’s beautiful, right?” Lucy said, her voice muffled by his shirt. She hid her face on his shoulder. “I’m sorry, I just need a second.”
“Take as many as you want.” Christ, was that his voice? It sounded raw and foreign. He hugged her closer, willing himself to regain his usual control. He needed to be strong for her. “I’m right here,” he murmured hoarsely as she buried her face in the fabric of his shirt. He stroked her arm, shielding her from the surrounding guests.
Their mutual pain was a private bubble, bonding them together for one singular moment, despite the people that surrounded them. The sounds of joy and congratulations were everywhere. And for the first time, he resented that not one of them knew about the son they’d lost.
“It’s okay. I’m okay. It’s—just—” Her words stuttered to a halt.
“I know,” he murmured. He could finish her sentence for her—It’s just that their gender reveal had taken place in a hospital, and their baby had already been gone when they’d found out a little boy had almost been theirs.
Slowly, she pulled away, looking up at him with wet lashes that sliced another year off his life. “I’m okay,” she said again. “And it really is beautiful, Joel. Some of these are happy tears. Believe it or not.” She choked on a laugh and dabbed her eyes with a napkin.
Anger flooded him. How had he been such an idiot?I’m fine,she’d said.I’ve gone to baby showers before, she’d said. Why hadn’t he listened to his gut? He knew better. Four years ago, Lucy had grieved in private. No one had known what she’d been through. She’d only had him. They’d only had each other. And then not even that.
