He didn’t even recognize it. Or her. Or anything.
“More like…” She tilted her head as if thinking it over, then met his gaze again with a satisfied look. “Friends with benefits.”
This could not be fucking happening to him. Once upon a time hearing this offer might have been right up there with courtside tickets to a Bulls’ game. Right up there with Grandma’s warm apple pie. But hearing it from Ivy—the one and only woman he actually wanted to be more than fucking friends with benefits with—it was like a knife twisting in his gut.
* * *
As time stretched on without Sean saying anything, Ivy started panicking. He stood in front of her, stock-still, expressionless, as though completely unmoved by her words. She’d just offered him the most vulnerable part of herself, and he wasn’t even acknowledging it. Not how she saw this going. Especially not after their kiss.
Oh God, their kiss. When she initiated, her lips trembled as she awkwardly pressed them to his. She’d imagined a soft, teasing, lips only kiss that hinted at more. Something sultry and inviting. Instead she’d given him a hard peck on the mouth, lacking totally in any kind of finesse. So, when Sean had pulled her back and taken her mouth in a hot, wet, delicious ride that made her heart spasm and her body clench with need, she’d been amazed. The way he’d invaded her mouth, taking over all of her senses, she could no longer deny that he’d wanted her. It seemed too good to be true.
A single kiss had rocked her whole world off its axis. But he acted like it hadn’t moved him one iota. How could he kiss like that and not want sex? She was offering him something most men would beg for. That others took without even asking.
He wouldn’t say no. He couldn’t say no.
“No.” His lips barely moved as the word came through.
Ivy blinked. The rest of her body was too numb to do anything else, and even though she’d only need to reach out to touch him, in that moment, he was as far away from her as he’d ever been.
The sting of humiliation and rejection heated her cheeks.
“I don’t want to be your friend with benefits, Ivy.” Each of his harshly spoken words lashed her heart. “The last thing I want is to fuck you like it—”
“Okay,” she interrupted loudly. She’d heard enough. She wasn’t an idiot.
Sean didn’t want her that way.
Got it.
Check.
No need to go over all the reasons why. She was aware of her shortcomings. She didn’t need to hear about them from Sean Thompson. Likely he’d kissed her back a second time to see if they had any chemistry? Which he obviously thought they did not.
Exhaustion swamped her. Maybe it was best if she and Sean weren’t friends with benefits. Maybe it was best if they weren’t even friends. Things between them had become too—complicated. And if Ivy wanted to execute her plan, she needed for things to not be complicated. She needed simple. Clear. Defined.
“Forget I said anything. I don’t know why I asked you. Momentary lapse in judgment. I’ll find someone else to meet my needs.” She pushed open her door and took a definitive step inside, putting a good three feet between them.
He responded by taking a step forward. “Ivy, wait. What do you meansomeone else? Fuck, can we talk about this before—?”
“Look,” she interrupted, desperate to stop this train wreck of a conversation. It was too much. Humiliation filled her entire body. She avoided making eye contact. She didn’t want to see what lay in his gaze. Horror, disgust, pity. It would all be bad. The last thing she wanted to do was back-pedal and explain her impromptu fuck-buddy experiment. “It’s been a long night. I’m going to bed. I’ll see you at the gym tomorrow.”
“Good night, Sean,” she said quietly before closing the door in his face and sagging against the hard planes of the wood.
So much for regaining her sexual confidence. Not only had she failed epically seducing Sean into going for her plan, but she’d humiliated herself and probably ruined their friendship. Ivy clunked her head against the door. There was nothing she could do now but let the shame wash over her. She’d figure out how to face him again in the morning.
CHAPTERFIVE
The next morning, Ivy ran harder and longer than she had in a long time. She ran until she doubled over and had to fight to keep down the contents of her stomach. Luckily, at six-thirty, there hadn’t been much in it.
Her run didn’t reduce her anxiety, clear her mind, or keep her in the moment. It failed her completely. Her conversation with Sean stayed on continuous replay in her brain. As did their kiss.
A kiss that had blown her socks off and left her craving more. So much more. More than she ever thought she could ever want again.
By the time she reached Thompson Kickboxing at 7:30, the knots in her belly had tightened into one hard stone. Sean was in there. Ivy knew she couldn’t avoid him forever, although she was damned well going to try.
As she approached the gym’s glass double doors, she spotted three women inside. They were poised behind the large oval reception desk, like beautiful, hyper-fit mannequins. All three were in the same pose, elbows propped on the countertop, chins on palms, staring expectantly at the door.
Their images were slightly blurred behind the glass but she recognized them instantly since a gym specializing in martial arts and combat sports didn’t draw nearly as many women as men. Sean was working hard to change that, but these women had been with the facility since the beginning and were powerful representatives of Thompson Kickboxing.
