“You know, I am capable of apologizing when I’ve screwed up.”
“Now that you mention it, I think that’s the first time I’ve heard the wordsI’m sorrycome out of your mouth.” He chuckled, a soothing baritone. “But that’s not why I’m surprised. You have nothing to apologize for. I need to thank you for what you did.” The tip of his finger tilted her chin up until she met his gaze. “You were right. Without you, I wouldn’t have made the first move with my brother. At least not for a long time, and by the time I did get my head out of my ass, it might have been too late to salvage any kind of relationship.”
The creaky wheels of Nana’s tea cart interrupted the moment, and Ivy rolled her eyes. Here came the Earl Grey.
“I know you said you didn’t want a cup, but I thought—of course, you’d need one after your long drive.” Nana stopped the cart beside them. “Ivy will pour for you.” She walked to the front door and got the shoehorn off its hanger.
Nana was the only person Ivy knew who used a shoehorn.
She straightened from slipping her shoes on. “I’ll be outside if you need me.”
Ivy frowned. “Why?”
“To make my acquaintance with your friends waiting outside in their vehicle.”
“What?” Ivy jumped up to look out the bay window.
Sure enough, Sean’s car was parked in the driveway, with Jordan in the front passenger seat, and in the back was—
“Is that Hope?”
“And Gabe,” Sean admitted. “Erica, Wendy, and Christine wanted to come too, but there wasn’t room.” He gave a helpless shrug. “Ivy, I screwed up too. Big time. I saw my brother in our hallway, and I panicked. I got scared, and I yelled at you, because I didn’t want any part of my past to touch you. But also, because I didn’t want you to find out like that.”
Finding it hard to stand still when all she wanted to do was crawl onto his lap, Ivy started fidgeting again.
“You should never have to hide your past,” she said. “I don’t want that for you. Nothing from before will change how I feel about you.” Her brow creased. “Did my past change how you feel about me?”
“God no. It makes me admire you even more. But my history isn’t like yours. You overcame, I—” His gaze darted to the side. “My brother went to prison because of something I did. That’s not anything to admire. It’s a reason for you to get the hell away from me. Which you did, and had every right to do, except—I can’t let you go. I just can’t let you go.”
CHAPTERTHIRTY-ONE
After that, everything came out fast. It was like Ivy’s silence drew all his secrets into existence. He spared no details.
Ivy sat in her rocking chair, knees tucked under her chin, her eyes revealing nothing. His pounding heart was like the metronome of his story. Less than two days ago, she’d looked at him like he was her hero, and now—he couldn’t have guessed if his life depended on it. But he kept talking.
“I watched from a distance as the police shoved my brother to the ground and handcuffed him. Then I fucking ignored him for years while he served time.” Her blank expression brought his frustration to a peak. “I saw him sitting in our hallway and I—” They were back to square one, and Ivy still hadn’t moved a single muscle.
The silence was agitating enough that he had to get up. “I saw him sitting there and I thought, this is it, this is where I lose you.”
Before he could say another word, she grabbed his hand. Using the grip, she launched herself out of her chair and into his arms. Her momentum and his surprise made him fall back on to the tiny couch he’d just gotten up from.
As he sat there trying to catch his breath, her scent enveloped him, roses and honey, and even though he knew he shouldn’t, he put his arms around her and breathed her in.
“I’m so sorry,” she murmured. “I’m so sorry I forced you to face all of that when you weren’t ready. I’m sorry you and Jordan had to go through it in the first place. I’m sorry you thought for one second you couldeverlose me. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
Was his t-shirt getting wet? Shit, he’d made her cry. His heart twisted as he added that to his list of transgressions.
“Don’t cry, baby,” he whispered against her hair. “And don’t apologize. Not ever.” When her crying didn’t let up, his stomach sank. “I wanted so badly to be the man you thought I was.”
She pulled back. “The man I thought you were?” Confusion creased her brow.
“You started looking at me like I was some kind of savior. It killed me a little more every day, because I knew I wasn’t half the man you thought I was. Then when you trusted me with what happened to you, I knew I had to tell you the truth before we could have the relationship I wanted. I was going to tell you the night of the gala, but then Jordan was there. I lost it and fucked things up again.”
“No.” She shook her head vehemently. “I should have consulted you before making a decision like that behind your back. I regret that I didn’t tell you, but,” she eyed him cheekily, “I don’t regret the outcome, because you and your brother are working things out, and that’s all I wanted.” Leaning forward, she brushed her nose against his. “If you think that what you told me makes me think differently of you, then you’re crazy.”
She said it so nonchalantly, he choked back a laugh. “I’m crazy?”
“Yes, you are. You were never meant to be perfect. I never thought you were, ever.”
