Poor Gabe. The expression on his face might have been comical—an absurd mix of victory, shock, horror, and confusion—if the gym hadn’t erupted into chaos immediately after. Their fearless leader lying motionless on the floor had been panic inducing.
The seconds that had passed felt like freaking years to Ivy. Her heart lodged in her throat, air trapped in her lungs, until the moment Sean’s eyes blinked open and he heaved himself into a sitting position. He’d immediately sought her out, trying to get up to come to her. But by then Donovan had arrived at the scene, and since he was probably the only person in the gym strong enough to force Sean to stay seated while he got checked over, Sean hadn’t gotten very far.
While Donovan crouched in front of Sean, blocking her from his view, Ivy had fled to the private bathroom in her clinic where she now stood icing her cheek and trying to rein in her reeling thoughts.
In the three years she’d known Sean, she’d never once seen him lose control of a fight or a spar or—anything. It had scared her, but more than that it made her wonder what had been going on in his head to pull him so far away. The incident had been so unlike him. But then again, there had been many incidents recently that were so unlike him. Glimpses of a Sean Thompson she wasn’t sure she recognized at all.
A few weeks ago, she’d been convinced that all they were to each other was friends. Good friends, close friends, but still just friends. But now… Now she was starting to wonder if maybe there was more.
She let the idea of Sean asmore than a friendcurl up and settle in her heart. It rested there comfortably for a second. And a second was about as long as the thought lasted before her fear of relationships and insecurity around connection rushed in and crushed it.
Seriously, what outcome could there possibly be if Sean wanted more than friendship and she couldn’t make it through a single romp in the sack? She couldn’t even fathom the amount of intentional intimacy it would take to form a romantic relationship. She’d have to tell him everything, and the thought of him knowing the truth made her stomach drop. Disclosing the assault wasn’t the only thing that worried her…how did she begin to explain that her own parents hadn’t even thought she was worth enough to bother sticking around for?
She trusted him enough to be her first positive sexual experience, but could she trust herself enough to let it be more than that? She hadn’t the foggiest, but she wasn’t optimistic.
The squeak of the door opening snapped her out of her contemplation, and she let out a surprised yelp, her hand fluttering to her chest. When Sean’s immensely powerful body appeared in her bathroom, her heart sighed in relief and settled. There he was, whole, safe, solid.
He stood there, unmoving, as he scanned her face, eventually landing on the spot where she’d smacked it against the floor. His eyes darkened, then almost immediately melted, regret and pity softening his features. Unable to stomach him looking at her like that, she lowered her gaze to the floor.
“No.”
Ivy heard the door click shut behind him, then the thump of his steps as he crossed the floor toward her.
“Don’t ever lower your eyes to me.” His voice, deep and commanding, filled the room like his presence, dominating it, and she lifted her face to meet his gaze.
His eyes burned into hers, and the invisible thread that connected them pulsed to life. With a jerk of his chin, the thread tugged, and she lifted her face to the side, fully exposing the place where she’d been hurt.
A sharp inhale hissed through his clenched teeth. “What happened—?”
She couldn’t let him finish. She spun to face the mirror and held the ice pack to her cheek again, covering the red spot. “That’s my question, Sean.” Her voice surprised her by coming out strong and clear. “What happened out there?” Then quieter, she asked, “Areyouokay?”
Their gazes met in the mirror.
“I’m fine, Ivy.” His soft baritone did what it always did to her. It sent a shiver down her spine to her core. “I sparred with Gabe, and I let him get one on me when I got distracted by you climbing through the fucking ropes. What the hell do you think you were doing?”
Okay, that pissed her off. She dropped the ice pack and whirled on him. “I was trying to get to you! And don’t pull that crap on me, like it’s my fault you got knocked out. You were already gone, Sean, like you were having an out-of-body experience or something. And nobody seemed to notice! So, I—I wanted to help you.”
“Help me? Ivy, you don’t have to help me. Or worry about Gabe. His fists are softer than a three-year-old’s.”
“Yeah, well,” Ivy sniffed, facing the mirror again. “The bruise on your face says otherwise.” A heavy sigh filled the air beside her, and she realized he stepped closer.
“I hate this,” he murmured, as he reached over her shoulder for the ice pack sitting on the counter.
She winced when he placed it gently against her cheek.
“I hate seeing you hurt. I hate fighting with you. I hate what we’re becoming.”
Turning to him was as natural as taking her next breath. The welcoming warmth of his chest was her safety net. “Then let’s stop, Sean. Can’t we go back? To before?”Before I ruined everything.
“Ivy.” His lips came down and pressed against the crown of her head.
Her hands went around his waist, drawing him closer, fingers barely dipping into the waistband of his shorts, smooth skin against soft fingertips. His scent in her lungs. Her mind reassured against his lips.
For a while, they simply stood, locked together.
“Mmmm.” A sigh of comfort and satisfaction left her. “This is why I wanted it to be with you.”
“Want what to be with me?” The question brushed against her hair, while his palm rubbed up and down her back, lulling her into a familiar sense of security.
