“Probably.”
“My career will be over.”
“Not just yours.”
He looks at me then, really looks at me, and I can see him processing what I just said. That I have just as much to lose as he does. Maybe more.
“Then why are we doing this?” he asks.
“Because I can’t stay away from you.”
“That’s not good enough.”
“I know,” I say. “But it’s all I’ve got.”
He’s quiet for a moment, studying my face for answers I can’t give him. “What happens now?”
“We pretend this never happened.”
“And tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow we go back to being coach and player.”
“That’s it?”
“That’s it.”
He rolls his eyes. “You can’t fuck me like that and then pretend it doesn’t mean anything.”
“It means everything. That’s the problem.”
He grips the front of my shirt. “Then do something about it, Zane. I dare you.”
“I’m trying to be honest because it’s true. I can’t give you what you want, Tate. I can’t be the guy you think you’re falling for.”
His eyes flash with anger. “Why the fuck not?”
“Because that guy doesn’t exist. The real me would crush your life.”
“Let me be the judge of that.”
“No. If I did that, you’d make the wrong choice. You’d choose me over your career, over everything that matters. And I won’t let you do that.”
“That’s not your decision to make.”
“Yes, it is. I’m the one with the secrets. I’m the one who knows how dangerous this is.”
“Dangerous how?”
“Just dangerous,” I say.
“That’s not an answer.”
“It’s the only answer you’re getting.”
I press my fingertips against my temples. What the hell is wrong with me? How could I get in this deep, knowing how his life is hanging in the balance? And I can’t save him from what’s about to happen unless I want my own life to go up in smoke. He’d choose me. He already told me that.
But I can’t choose him. And he deserves so much better than that.
