Mathlin squinted. Titan didn’t know about Mathlin’s stomach butterflies, did he? Probably not. “I guess this means we work on the frosting.”
Like the cupcakes, the frosting turned out amazing. It was a fluffy sort of buttercream, and it was smooth and sweet. Mathlin stuffed an entire spoonful of it into his mouth, moaning. “I see why your aunt wants these cupcakes for her party. I would buy a million of them.”
Titan’s smile grew awfully pleased. He looked at the floor, the tips of his ears turning pink. “You’re doing really good, Math. Let’s work on the rest of the baked goods.”
The sun was crestingthe trees when their first customer stepped in.
“Titan! You bed-hopping wolf pup!” the man cried. “How dare you?!”
Mathlin exchanged a look with Titan. They headed to the sales floor, where four of the trays had been filled with baked goods.
A man stood in the entryway, arms folded across his puffed-out chest. His mustache was quivering.
“Mr. Salem?” Titan said slowly. “Did you hear something from Mrs. Everdin?”
“Yes!” Salem howled. “She says you spent all of last night in my wife’s bed! With your four broken limbs and a pine tree growing out of your ear!”
Mathlin laughed—and hurriedly disguised it as a cough. “F-four, uh, broken limbs?”
“I’m still standing upright, as you can see,” Titan said.
Salem squinted at Titan’s legs. “Might be magic holding you up.”
“No trees growing from my ears.”
“You must’ve chopped it off!”
Titan coughed, looking as though he was trying to hide his smile. “I can assure you that I did not spend last night in your wife’s bed.”
Salem lowered his bushy eyebrows. “Oh? Where were you, then?”
“In my bed!” Mathlin said brightly. He turned and scrambled up Titan’s sturdy, solid body, carefully avoiding Titan’s arms to wrap his legs around Titan’s waist. “He was, um, helping to breed me.”
Titan choked. “Math—”
“It was very good,” Mathlin whispered to Salem. “But he had garlic breath and that made things kind of awkward. I think he was afraid I was gonna be a vampire.”
Salem opened and closed his mouth. “Wh-what?”
Titan coughed harder, his breaths hitching.
Mathlin nodded. “Titan showed up at my door with stakes tied to his feet, like he was gonna ninja-kick me if I sucked his blood. Because his arms are broken but his legs are fine, see? I convinced him that I’m totally not a vampire, then I put my tongue in his ear and he came like a geyser. It was really impressive, like someone knocked over a fire hydrant and the fluids just wouldn’t stop gushing. The entire bed wassoaked.”
Salem was staring at them, his mouth hanging open.
So Mathlin continued his tale. “I had to get a bucket so I could use his cum to put out the fire in the fireplace, but that was a really bad move because the entire cabin smelled like burned jizz. It was horrible. Titan said I murdered all his lil swimmers. Zero out of five stars, do not recommend. Anyway, all that to say that your wife was definitely not in bed with us. She would’ve been really unhappy with the soaked mattress. It was squelching like rain-soaked shoes. But maybe you should check with your wife and ask her where she was.”
Titan was trembling against Mathlin now, his face forcibly deadpan. But shaky huffs of air kept escaping from his nose. “Gods, Math,” he said, burying his face against the side of Mathlin’s neck. Mathlin’s heart leaped.
“There, there. I know you got very emotional,” Mathlin said, petting his head. “My ear-fucking has multiple five-star reviews.” He turned to Salem and said very seriously, “You have to make sure it has a lot of spit. Like, it’s pouring off your tongue. Then you lash your tongue side to side like a sea monster, and you stuff it into their ear holes. Titan was so overwhelmed, he sobbed like a baby. Only his parents heard. They rated his performance nine out of ten.”
Salem shook his head, his eyes so wide, they almost fell out. “I’ll... check with your parents and see if you’re telling the truth, Titan.”
But he looked as though he reluctantly believed them, scowling as he turned and stormed out of the bakery.
“Oh!” Mathlin cried. “Mr. Salem, Twin Buns is open for business! If you bring your wife some cupcakes, I think she might marry you all over again!”
Salem paused with one foot out of the door, looking back over his shoulder.
