12
ONLY ONE BED
“What was that about?”Titan asked.
Hamilton shrugged, his brow furrowed. “I didn’t hear anything odd.”
There was a trace of smoke in the air, rapidly fading. Titan blinked. Then he remembered that same scent from the last time Mathlin had disappeared.
He almost followed Mathlin out, to tell the omega he didn’t have to worry. But today was a day full of changes for Mathlin; Titan didn’t want to overwhelm him further.
“We need to acquire some fire-proofing spells,” Titan said. “Could you do that after dinner? I hate to impose. But we’ll probably sleep better knowing that the cabin won’t go up in smoke.”
“Yeah, I’ll do that,” Hamilton said dryly. “I won’t have anyone to enlighten with pickup lines if you’re all in the hospital.”
Titan groaned. “Thanks.”
“I’m so touched. All you really want is to be filled with pickup lines. Completely stuffed. They’ll dribble out of you like an omega who’s been freshly-fu—”
Titan buried his face in his hands. “Ham, what the actual f—”
A strangled noise came from the back door. “You want to be an omega who’s freshly-fucked?”
When Titan turned, he found Mathlin standing there, his mouth hanging open.
Titan groaned. “No!”
Hamilton waved his spatula. “I’m sure Titan wouldn’t mind being metaphorically boned by pickup lines. You can even rub them all over his body and massage them into his skin. Infuse him with their essence. He’ll become so suave with all that knowledge.”
Titan cringed. “Because those lines make someone so suave.”
“Of course.” Hamilton cleared his throat and whipped out that familiar pink book. He opened it to a random page and began to read.
“There’s a feeling in my little toe;
It’s hard and bumpy like a mole.
I think it’ll grow big and tall,
It’s just getting ready for you to fall...
Your butt will open around it!
I’ll do anything to make it fit!
Oh, precious, my toe and your hole
Will make our feelings grow
So won’t you be mine?
I’ll make sure you’ll look so fine
And all my ten toes will end up in your pretty butt hole.”
Hamilton closed the book with a snap, looking around with his chest puffed up.
Silence descended upon the cabin. Jannie broke it by babbling.
