Had she not heard of interspecies mating? Mathlin carefully did not mention Jannie. Instead, he said grimly, “Titan got an injection of cat DNA. Up his butt.”
Titan choked.
Everdin’s eyes bugged out. “What?”
“It’s true.” Mathlin nodded. “Titan was mauled by a sphinx. There was a great battle, but we won it with his secret family recipe.”
“What about the... the cat DNA?” Everdin asked faintly, glancing at Titan’s hips as though she could see through him to his ass.
“Oh. The sphinx came to an agreement with us,” Mathlin said. “In exchange for a pan of the most amazing brownies, plus its healing powers, it promised to heal Titan and leave the state. It was a very special healing process.”
“Its healing went into Titan’s...” Everdin trailed off as though she couldn’t believe those words had just left her mouth. Then her expression changed, into that of a dragon hoarding gold.
“Shhh. It’s not something for polite company.” Mathlin waved dismissively. “But I bet you want to know what the secret recipe brownies taste like.” At that, Everdin’s curiosity returned. Mathlin handed her a brownie sample. “It’s an amazing recipe that has been in Titan’s pack for generations. They’ve only just allowed us to bake it for the public, and you’re one of the first to try it.”
Everdin chewed on the brownie bite, humming. “This is decent. I’ll take two.”
Mathlin boxed them up for her and added a cookie. “We wanted the sphinx to officiate our wedding, but alas. Titan and I are just ordinary cats. We were not special enough for the great sphinx.”
“What a pity,” Everdin said. Her eyes gleamed, though. “I hope you’ll recover soon, Titan.”
She paid for the brownies and headed for the door.
Mathlin bit his lip, trying not to giggle. This was all so silly.
“If this was the climax of a book, I would be upset,” he declared in an undertone.
“Really?” Titan whispered back.
“Where is the surprise? The high stakes? There’s no great trouble that we have to overcome.”
“I don’t mind, to be honest,” Titan said. “I’ve been injured enough to last me for a while.”
The moment Everdin grasped the door handle, she paused. “Oh! I forgot to mention!”
Mathlin eyed her warily. “What?”
“There’s been an old man skulking around asking about you,” she said. “High forehead, long white hair? Waves a stick around like a staff?”
Mathlin’s stomach plummeted. “There’sthe climax of my story. Fuck.”
28
ATTACK WITH BALLS
Titan watchedas Mathlin grew stock-still, the blood draining from his face. He glanced sharply at Everdin. “When was the last time you saw this man? The truth, please.”
Everdin had puffed out her chest, about to tell one of her exaggerated tales. But maybe Titan’s growl changed her mind. “Two days ago. He was in Washerville, at the general store.”
Washerville was just the next town over. Too fucking close. Titan clenched his fists. “Did they tell him about Mathlin?”
“Possibly,” Everdin said slowly. “I did tell everyone you had a new employee.”
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
“Thanks, Mrs. Everdin,” Titan said, trying to stay calm. “You should tell people to stay away from him. He’s not a good person.”
She looked worried then. “Are you in danger?”
