“I’ll do my very best to protect you and Naddie.”
Killian sagged, leaning closer. As though he wanted more comfort. So Crush gathered his omega into his arms and laid them both down, encouraging Killian to nuzzle into his chest. He rolled on top of Killian to shield him with his body, but left a tiny space to the side, so Killian could squirm away if he wanted.
“Is this better?” Crush murmured, stroking Killian’s hair. “Do you feel safer like this?”
Killian nodded, tugging Crush closer even though their chests were already pressed together, with no space between them.
For a long while, Crush held him, dropping kisses on Killian’s hair and rubbing more of his scent into Killian’s skin. He rocked Killian from side to side, sliding his hand up the back of Killian’s T-shirt for more skin contact.
Slowly, Killian stopped shaking. His pulse evened out. Crush continued to pet him, savoring the smallness of his omega in his arms.
“He’s dangerous,” Killian said suddenly.
A chill slithered down Crush’s spine. “Who’s dangerous?”
“Albert Bleu.” Killian shuddered, tucking himself more firmly into Crush’s chest. “He wasn’t there when I killed everyone else. I can’t believe I missed that! For years! I should’ve counted them, I should’ve set a trap, I—”
“What did he do to you?” Crush almost didn’t want to know. But he had to. And he had to stop Killian from blaming himself.
“The alphas—they trained us to fight and use weapons. Some of them were cruel about it. But Bleu was the worst with hurting omegas; he claimed he did it to make us stronger. Several times, I thought he was going to kill me. The training was just his excuse.”
Crush swallowed the rage that tried to consume him. It was really fucking difficult, when all he could think about was an alpha hurting Killianfor fun.
He looked at Killian again, at the silvery lines and splotches all over his arms.
Through all of today, through all the times they had mated, not once had Killian removed his shirt. But there were enough scars on the other parts of him, for Crush to know that the rest of his body hadn’t been spared. “Your scars... How many of them were from the jobs, and how many were from the alphas who trained you?”
Crush had his answer even before Killian opened his mouth; Killian’s expression was bleak. “Most of them were from my kidnappers. I became good enough that the jobs didn’t hurt me much at all.”
Crush wanted to punch a wall. He wanted to smash those fuckers and end them. But most of them were already dead. He drew a deep breath. “Will you... show me the rest of your scars?”
Killian chewed his lip. Ever so slowly, he nodded.
When Crush leaned back to give him space, Killian lifted his shirt off his head. It revealed an expanse of skin: puckered in some places, scarred in others. Injuries that were badly healed, injuries from burns, knives, and bullets.
Crush’s chest hurt. Then he realized he couldn’t seek out Killian’s remaining abuser; it would mean leaving his omega behind, unprotected.
Damn it!
Carefully, he touched his fingertips to the closest scar. It was a divot in Killian’s skin, remnants of a deeper wound where the flesh had not grown back completely. The next scar was a long thin line, healed jaggedly. Other scars were layered over it; stab scars and old burn wounds.
He trailed his fingers all over Killian’s chest and stomach, horrified by the sheer number of injuries Killian had experienced. Crush didn’t have this many scars, and he was just as proficient in fighting as Killian was, if not more.
Killian watched him warily. “Sorry, they’re kind of ugly.”
Crush stared at him, stunned. “Sweetheart. Why thehellwould you say they’re ugly? None of these were your fault.”
The omega shrugged and looked away. “I was too slow to prevent them. Too weak. I never wanted to be there.”
“You were never meant to be in those situations,” Crush growled. “They took advantage of you. You had no fighting experience.It’s not your fault.”
Crush caught Killian’s chin, tipping his face up so their gazes locked.
“I admire you,” Crush murmured. “I think you’re beautiful. And I don’t want to give you a reason to be ashamed of these scars. You don’t have to hide them from me.”
Killian stared at Crush for a very long time. Then he drew a shuddering breath. “I want to believe what you just said.”
“Good. Take your time. It doesn’t have to be right now, but I’d like you to get there someday.”
