Killian froze. Crush looked over then, following the other man’s gaze. He clocked the knives in Killian’s grip and raised an eyebrow.
Killian scowled. “I thought we were being attacked!”
A slow smile spread across Crush’s face. “And the first thing you did was run out here with weapons. This is Hansel, my butler.”
That would explain Hansel’s lack of surprise. The Butler Brothers were shape shifters, employed for home security because of their unparalleled hearing.
Instead of staying shut, Killian’s mouth moved. “Where’s Gretel?”
Hansel gasped and grabbed his crotch. “Right here. I named him Gretel.”
Crush pinched the bridge of his nose.
Killian recoiled in horror. “I did not just learn that.”
Hansel wriggled his eyebrows lasciviously. “Gretel and I, we go everywhere together. We’re literallyjoined at the hip.Sometimes I build a gingerbread house around him. Then I bring in gingerbread ninjas and stage fights all around my stuffed gingerbread house.”
“Holy rabbit gods,” Killian whimpered, wishing he could bury his face in his hands. But he couldn’t do that without stabbing himself in the eye. “Why are we still talking about this?”
With a growl, Crush stepped between Killian and Hansel.
“You should try it, Howl Master,” Hansel said with a leer. “Have Killian build a gingerbread castle for your, ah, battering ram. You can decorate it with cock ‘frosting’ and spread it around with a butter knife. Or a fleshy rod. Add some sprinkles. It will taste like the rainbow.”
Killian buried his face against Crush’s broad back and tried not to perish from mortification. “Maybe I like thinking about, uh, your carrot, but not with an audience! No one enjoys carrots with an audience!”
Then he froze.Did I really say that? Out loud?
“My carrot?” Crush purred. “How big do you like your carrots, bunny rabbit?”
Killian wanted to bury himself under a pile of rugs. “I need to stop talking!” But his mouth just kept going. “Your carrot is like a tree trunk. Big and veiny. Like the tree of life. I thought it was going to rip through your sweatpants and charge into, um, a tunnel. To save a princess. But I don’t want you to change into a different pair of sweatpants, because then it won’t have the outline of your carrot anymore!”
Why did I say all of that? Why?Killian needed to move to Siberia and never show his face again.
Hansel snickered. “Oh, my. You should definitelywateryour carrot, Wolf Consort. Carrots love beingwet.”
“C-consort?!” Killian squeaked. Hewasn’tgoing to think about Hansel’s advice. “Oh gods, oh gods. Carrots are like, my thing. I would go to sleep cuddling one if I could. They taste so delicious.”
Crush choked.
“They love being in deep, dark places,” Hansel said gleefully. “When you give them enough warmth, they will reward you by growingthicker.Some carrots even have a bulb at the base; they store more sweet goodness in there—”
“Hansel!” Crush snapped, but he sounded embarrassed.
“I love sweet good things,” Killian blurted, closing his eyes in horror. There was a trail of slick going down his thighs. It worsened when he nuzzled Crush’s back and got lungfuls of Crush’s scent. If he reached around, he would find Crush’s big, hard...
“Hansel,” Crush hissed dangerously. “You will shut up about cocks right now.”
“Oh? Because you’re the only person who can talk about them?” Hansel cackled.
“You already gave me the book of pickup lines,” Crush growled. “I can handle everything else.”
“Oh, oh! Did you tell Wolf Consort why I gave you that book? It’s because—”
Crush stiffened; his back muscles bunched against Killian’s face. “Don’t you dare—”
“—Howl Master couldn’t shut up about this omega he met on a mission,” Hansel said, leaping away when Crush detached himself from Killian and lunged at him. In a fake, deeper voice, Hansel added, “‘He has the most perfect face and ass. He fell asleep on my back and drooled on my fur. I never want to shower again; his saliva shall forever linger on my skin.’”
“I never said that,” Crush bellowed. He chased Hansel through the trees. “And I fucking showered!”
