Stepping out onto the road, I picked a direction at random and began walking.
As the night went on and the cold deepened, I realized I was taking smaller and smaller steps. My lungs hurt from the icy air, and my joints were locking up from the cold.
I wasn’t sure how far I’d made it when they stopped working altogether and I dropped to the ground.
Chapter 16
Not an Option
Pharis
Sleep was impossible with these conflicting feelings of elation and guilt doing battle in my body and mind.
I tossed and turned in my bed, reliving the immense pleasure of kissing and touching Raewyn in the pool, burning for more of her.
But as good as it had felt, body and soul, it hadn’t been real—on her part at least.
She’d been under compulsion.
Shame joined the mix of emotions roiling inside me, and I punched the plush mattress repeatedly, cursing myself for the thousandth time.
In spite of my promise not to use my powers to manipulate her, when I’d heard Raewyn’s mental reaction to seeing me naked, I’d lost control of myself.
I’d used the Compelling glamour siphoned from my father to lure her into the water, compelled her into taking off her clothes and revealing that soft, lush, beautiful body of hers and offering it to me.
Even when I attempted to drop the compulsion, it apparently still affected her.
Raewyn would never be so forward with me. Not unless she wanted me as much as I wanted her, andthatwas literally impossible.
My overwhelming desire for her was the excuse I’d made for finally allowing myself to kiss her.
I’d meant to keep it light, just one or two kisses. Naturally I’d failed. The woman had a gift for shattering my self restraint.
At least I’d found the strength to stop before it had gone too far.
Still, she was right when she said she couldn’t trust me. I couldn’t trustmyself, and I had demonstrated that fact in spectacular fashion.
Finally, I rolled out of bed and left my suite, taking the stairs down to the castle’s second level, heading for Raewyn’s room.
It was too late to apologize—she’d be in bed at this hour, but I would step inside and check on her, as I did every night while she was sleeping. Hopefully she hadn’t been too upset by the incident and had managed to drop off to sleep herself.
Kem, the ladies maid, was sitting in the chair outside Raewyn’s door.
She stood when she saw me approaching, looking surprised.
“Did you need to fetch some nightclothes for her?” she asked. “You could have called. I would have brought them to your chambers.”
I shook my head. “What?”
“Nightclothes… for Lady Raewyn,” Kem said, her voice growing weaker as she took in my confused expression.
“Is she not with you then?” she asked.
“What are you talking about?” I pushed open Raewyn’s door.
Her room was empty, the bed still made.
Striding to the adjoining bathing room, I held up the candle lamp.
