“We were talking about you and Kenzie the other day,” Joey continued, and Danny sighed. “You’ve dated and had a few close-to-serious relationships, but none of us have ever seen you so gone for a woman. I know we’re overstepping and you’re mad about it, but—”
Danny heard a finger snap, and his gaze immediately went to his mother—as did the attention of his brothers. Everybody quieted, and he watched his mother give Joey a look—no words or arched eyebrows, but just a steady stare they all knew translated to “stop what it is you’re doing and do something else.”
“So how ’bout those Red Sox?” Joey asked quickly.
Danny laughed, relaxing into his chair. His mother must have been clocking his emotional temperature from across the yard, and whether she guessed they were talking about Kenzie or not, she could tell he was about to get up and leave.
They talked sports for a while, until Julia began stirring. Danny took his niece so Joey could get out of the chair, which was old and sagged a little in the seat, and they rejoined the rest of the family.
Lisa’s Finger Snap of Doom must have done the trick because he was spared any more sad looks and probing questions. It helped him get through the rest of the barbecue, but there was never a moment he wasn’t wishing Kenzie was there with him.
And that was part of the problem, he reminded himself as he watched the happy couples surrounding him. His grandparents. His parents. Joey and Ellie. Brian and Siobhan. His dad’s cousin Sean and his wife, Emma. All the kids. Even if he and Kenzie were a couple, he’d be here alone.
No, he wasn’t happy without Kenzie in his life. But he wasn’t sure they’d both be happy in the long run if shewasin his life. Wasn’t it better to face that reality now, before they tried to build a life together?
Something hit Danny in the back of the head, and he whirled, expecting to see one of his brother’s laughing, but Nora was standing ten feet away, with her hand covering her mouth and her eyes wide. The ball—one of those soft red playground balls—was on the ground between them.
“Sorry, Uncle Danny,” she said while Oliver giggled.
He made a mock growling sound and scooped the ball off the ground. “Oh, you’re going to be.”
The kids squealed in delight and took off running, and he laughed as he chased them.
This was exactly what he needed—family, love and laughter. Instead of wallowing in misery, he’d focus on the joy of his nieces and nephews, and his work. Sure, he’d had his world turned upside down, but he could right it again. Maybe it would be a little crooked, but he’d get used to it.
Eventually.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Danny wasn’t sure how longeventuallywas supposed to be, but it was longer than six weeks or so. His upside-down world didn’t feel anywhere near right side up again, crooked or otherwise. He didn’t think about Kenzie any less, and the pain every time he did was just as sharp.
And the conversation he’d had with Hannah seemed to play in a loop in his head. The question really was simple. Was Danny happy without Kenzie in his life? The answer was also simple.
No.
No, he wasn’t happy without Kenzie. The answer being simple didn’t mean the solution was, though. Considering how much time he’d spent thinking about it, a simple solution would have come to him by now.
Almost two months had passed since he last saw her. Every night, he fell asleep thinking about her, and every morning, his first impulse was to get into his truck and drive to Corinne’s Kitchen.
And every single day, he didn’t allow himself to do that.
He threw himself into his work, spending his mornings in his office and then his afternoons doing some kind of physical activity in an effort to wear himself out so maybe he could get a decent night’s sleep. He did a very belated deep spring cleaning of his entire house. He redid some of the exterior landscaping.
After several long conversations with Colby, he and his agent had finally hammered out an idea that met the basic criteria for a Dan Kowalski novel—a story Danny was excited to write and that Colby was sure would sell. It had been a bit of a negotiation because Danny wanted to throw some suspenseful elements in. It wouldn’t be a thriller, but the story would be tense.
He was burned out on deep dives into family dynamics.
Danny was staring at his whiteboard—looking at sticky notes full of plot points but wondering what Kenzie was up to at that moment—when he got a call from his mother. “Your grandfather has decided he needs to clean out the loft in the barn today.”
Danny pinched the bridge of his nose. “Why is he like this, Mom?”
“Because it needs to be done, so he’s going to do it. And of course he’s going to do it on a day Brian is up north and Joey’s on a job. And your father tweaked his back a little tying his shoe—donottell him I told you that because he wants to tell everybody he was jacking up my car to check my exhaust. But he says he’s fine and he’s going to go help because he can’t let your grandfather do it alone.”
“I’ll go. It’ll do me some good to get out of the house, anyway, and at least Gram will feed me.”
Danny managed to pull into his grandparents’ driveway just in time to look through the open barn doors and see his grandfather trying to foot the ladder. He’d have to say hello to his grandmother later because Leo’s stubbornness was legendary and he wouldn’t wait while his grandson observed social niceties.
“Let me do that, Pop,” he called as he jogged up the driveway, past the garage.
