“Honestly, yes. He’s very chill most of the time. He can get whiny and stubborn when he’s overstimulated—that’s why we were leaving the campground to get lunch that day—and we’ve had a few temper tantrums, but mostly he’s a sweetheart.”
They fell into a comfortable silence, both of them looking at the television screen, though he didn’t think either of them were particularly watching it. As the minutes ticked by, though, the silence grew heavier.
With Oliver presumably sound asleep, they were as good as alone and they had a history of hot kisses when nobody was watching.
But that had been during their week in that bubble, with the real world on the outside. And he couldn’t decide if the happy bombshell Kevin had dropped on them tonight would make it easier or harder to keep their hands off of each other. Now, as long as everything went okay withthe judge—and there was no reason to doubt his uncle—sharing Oliver would be their life now. And while they’d had a wonderful dinner and would be sleeping under the same roof tonight, going forward, they would probably only cross paths during drop-off and pickup on his weekends. They might spend a few milestones and holidays together, but there was going to be a physical distance between him and Siobhan.
So did that mean spending a night together would get it out of their systems before the next phase of their relationship? Or would it just make that next phase messy?
Brian was willing to risk the messy if it meant keeping Siobhan in his life. Falling hard and fast for her wasn’t something he had ever imagined happening, but here he was. He didn’t know ifshewas willing to risk things being messy, though. It was simply a fact that she had more to lose because no matter what happened, Oliver was his biological child. He was never going away.
“I’m beat,” Siobhan said after a few more minutes. “I think I’m going to turn in. And, fair warning, being in a new location means that child might get up at the crack of dawn.”
He chuckled. “So I should probably turn in, too. Your bag’s on the bed and I put a night-light in the bathroom so you don’t have to look for the light switch if you get up in the night. If there’s anything else you need, just let me know.”
“Thank you for that. And for giving up your bed so I could be here for him the first time.” When he nodded, she smiled and gave him a little smile. “Good night.”
“Night.”
He forced himself to keep his eyes on the television and not her butt as she walked up the stairs after expertlyhandling the baby gate. He heard her go into his bedroom, then into the bathroom. Stella was giving him questioning looks because this was definitely not part of their routine, and Brian decided it was a good time to let her out to do her business.
After flipping on the outside light and scanning the yard for random visitors that might want to fight Stella, spray her or give her a face full of quills, he opened the door and followed her out. Standing on the back step, he crossed his arms and tried to keep her on task as quietly as possible.
Once the dog had gone through her bedtime song and dance, he brought her in and tried to convince her to curl up on the recliner. She was having none of that and stretched out on the couch.
The creaking of floorboards above him told Brian Siobhan was finished in the bathroom and was moving around his bedroom. As quietly as he could, he went up the stairs and opened the baby gate at the top. There was no sense closing the one at the bottom when Oliver was upstairs, so at least there was only the one. He’d stashed a pair of sweats and a soft, well-worn T-shirt in the linen closet, so he was able to brush his teeth and get ready for bed without disturbing her. Then he crept down the stairs, making sure to close the top gate, and made himself comfortable in the recliner.
With the TV on and muted, and the overhead light off, he hoped it would hold his attention enough to distract him from the woman above him, but not enough to keep him awake.
An hour later, he was still awake, and so was Siobhan. It had been quiet for a while, and he’d assumed she was asleep. But then the floorboards had creaked and the thickrug probably muffled the sound for her, but the subfloor was old enough so he could follow her steps across the room and back by the various squeaky spots.
She was pacing.
He tried to ignore it. Whether she slept or did laps to get her steps in or whatever was none of his business. If she needed something, she knew where to find him.
Unless she assumed he was asleep and didn’t want to wake him up.
What if the bedroom was too hot or too cold? Maybe she needed another blanket. His window stuck a bit. Maybe she was desperate for fresh air and couldn’t get the window open. He didn’t want to invade her privacy or overstep, but he also couldn’t stand the thought of her suffering half the night instead of sleeping over something he could easily take care of.
He deliberated another few minutes before throwing off the lightweight fleece blanket and getting up. After giving Stella the command to stay on the couch, which she was more than happy to obey, he crept up the stairs—again with the gate that was already the bane of his existence—and tapped lightly on the door.
She opened it, looking at him with her lips pressed together. He triedreallyhard not to notice she wasn’t wearing a bra under her baby blue sleep shirt and the matching shorts were definitely short. It wasn’t easy, but he managed to keep his eyes on her face for the most part.
Then she turned and walked away, leaving the door open. She started pacing again, a shorter route this time, and he stepped over the threshold. After a moment of indecision, he opted for not disturbing the toddler across the hall and moved inside enough to close the door behind him.
“I can hear you pacing up here. Is everything okay?” She shook her head, but slowly, and with the way her lips were still pressed together, Brian got the impression she was mad about something. “Trouble sleeping?”
The slow shaking of her head shifted to a slow nod before she covered her face with her hands. “This room smells like you.”
“I’m…sorry, I guess? I put fresh sheets on the bed. I could spray some air freshener around, but then it’ll probably just smell like a tropical version of me.”
To his relief, she was smiling when she dropped her hands. “Yeah, that would definitely be worse.”
Brian wasn’t sure how to ask what he could to help her because he wasn’t sure he wanted to know why the room smelling like him would keep her from sleeping. While occasionally, after a hard day of work, he might get a little rank, his bedroom shouldn’t smell that bad. Especially with fresh bedding and all of his laundry clean.
“Or maybe it’s my imagination,” she muttered, and he wasn’t sure if she was talking to him or to herself. “In your bed with my head on your pillow, I just imagine it must smell like you and then it does.”
He finally caught on to what was happening, and he had to bite back a smile at the realization that thinking about him was keeping her awake. “We can switch if you want.”
