Would hemind? “Of course not.”
Once Siobhan had lifted the screen panels, Brian crouched and slid his hands under the boy. It had been a while since he held a child, but he supported him the best he could as he lifted him into his arms and stood. Oliver stirred slightly, but then found a comfortable spot against Brian’s chest and quieted again.
He looked down at the boy’s relaxed face and smiled. Oliver had the tiniest eyelashes. Thick and dark, but so tiny. His nose was adorable, and there was the tiniest hint of an upward curve in his mouth as he slept.
Everything seemed to fade away, until Siobhan sighed and he heard the tremor in her breath. He cleared his throat and turned to follow her in the direction of her camper. When they reached it, she opened the door and stood out of the way.
He had to turn sideways to ensure he didn’t hit Oliver’s head on the doorjamb, which made the stairs tricky, but he managed. Once he was inside, he moved back so Siobhan had room to enter, and she pulled the door closed behind her.
“Where do you want him?” he asked in a low voice.
“You can just lay him on the bed and I’ll take it from there.”
He did as she asked, bending low to set Oliver on the bed. When he slid his hands out from under the boy, he sighed in his sleep and rolled onto his side.
“Don’t you have to wake him up to change him or anything?” he asked as he backed away.
She chuckled softly, and he tried not to stare at how soft the lines of her face were when she was looking at Oliver. “He’ll sleep through it, believe it or not. I’ll change him and use a warm wipe to give him a quick wash, and then I’ll put his pajamas on him.”
“And he won’t wake up?”
“Usually not, though he might here because it’s a strange place. Babies are so funny. Oliver is a terrible napper, but sleeps like a rock at night. A friend of mine has an eight-month-old who’s a dream when it comes to napping, but wakes at the slightest disturbance when it’s dark.”
“I guess it’s probably nice to have a break while they nap, but I’d choose a good night’s sleep every time.”
“Me too, so I got lucky.”
They lapsed into silence, and Brian knew it was time for him to go. Reluctantly, he turned away from Oliver and managed a tight smile for Siobhan.
“I’ll go so you can get him to bed.”
“Thank you for carrying him.”
Thank you for letting me.He didn’t say the words out loud, though, since he couldn’t be sure how she’d take them. “Anytime.”
Once he’d quietly closed the camper door behind him, Brian closed his eyes and inhaled the comforting scent of woods, lingering barbecue and campfire smoke.
Soft voices and laughter his family was trying but failing to muffle drifted to Brian from the campfire. Usually he’d jump at the chance to enjoy their company, but right now he needed a few minutes by himself.
He should have known he wouldn’t get it. Stella spottedhim first, of course, and she left her place by the fire to join him. Then his dad stood. Brian heard the low rumble of his voice, but he couldn’t make out what was said. He could guess, though, because when his dad started toward him, nobody else moved.
The last thing Brian wanted right now was a paternal talking-to, but the man’s purpose was clear and the only way out of it was turning his back and deliberately snubbing him. No way would Brian ever do that, no matter how much he wanted to be alone.
With Stella on his left and his dad falling into step on his right, Brian walked up the hill into the dark, wooded part of the campground.
Much to his surprise, his dad didn’t say anything. They walked in silence, which suited him just fine. And it was enough. His presence offered much-needed comfort, and with every step he felt a little steadier.
They were at the top of the hill, following the road that would go down past the cabins and come out on the other end of the playground when Brian felt ready to talk.
He had to clear his throat a couple of times first, though. “Holding him was…something else.”
“I’m proud of the way you’ve handled this. Both of you, actually, because this can’t be easy for Siobhan, either.”
“I really can’t speak for her, but I know I’m only getting through it because you’re all being so great about it.”
“Whatever you need, son.” His father’s hand rested briefly on his shoulder before rubbing his back a few times. “Always.”
Sometimes, over the years, Brian would think about the day he’d have a child of his own and hope he could be as good a father as his was.
