I shake my head to clear it, reminding myself to focus. I refuse to let thoughts of him disrupt this sanctuary, even as I know the raw tension he represents lingers in the corners of my mind, unfurling like smoke.
After a few hours filled with cheerful conversations and warm hugs, I reluctantly check the time, realizing I need to head to practice. I decide to arrive early, hoping to bury myself in pre-practice rituals and drown out the mounting tension. Talia and I part ways, and I head straight to practice.
As I pull up to the rink, I can feel the familiar adrenaline surging, competing with the dread that builds in my stomach. Steppinginside, I’m met with the sound of skates scraping against the ice, teammates scattered about, banter bubbling into the air.
I make my way to my stall, doing my best to avoid Leo’s gaze, and as I sit, I realize the banter has shifted. My teammates greet me with laughter, sharing tales from the night before, but the words feel muffled, like they’re echoing from a distance. I force a smile, engaging only superficially as the weight of yesterday’s connections hangs in the background.
“Nash, man! You’re not still upset over the pool game, are you?” One of my teammates jabs, and laughter erupts around the room. I can see Leo’s amused smirk from the corner of my eye, the familiarity stinging just enough to break the fragile bubble I’ve tried to create.
“Just getting my head in the game,” I reply, the formality coating my voice like a shield, attempting to brush off the lingering tension.
“It’s all about having fun!” another chimes in, their enthusiasm bubbling over. The laughter feels contagious, but I can’t shake the undercurrent of uncertainty each time Leo moves through the locker room, the way he takes up space and challenges me with every confident stride.
But when we finally step onto the ice, the chaos melts away, replaced by a synergy I never expected. As we line up for drills, Coach Reynolds nods at Leo and me, and his praise echoes in the cavernous rink, filling the air with a sense of pride.
“Great job out there today, you two! I can see your teamwork improving!” The coach’s approval surges through me, a warmth spreading in my chest as Leo and I exchange glances. The lingering energy crackles between us..
“Nice save, Nash!” Leo calls out during one drill, his voice light, but layered with something more profound. I can feel the connection grow stronger as we execute play after play, everything falling into place like clockwork.
This is our secret realm. Part of the fun between us is holding our secret.
As the drill comes to a close, I catch Leo’s gaze again, and the tension shifts back into a heavy charge, something unspoken hanging just between us. For a moment, I allow myself to feel it—the exhilaration of this newfound partnership and that maybe for the first time in my life, I can be with a man.
But as we skate off the ice and the practice winds down, I’m left with the familiar twinge of uncertainty.
Chapter 18
Nash
The guys wouldn’t take no for an answer. After practice, all I wanted to do was go back to my apartment and rest, but the whole team was heading to a local bar, and they wouldn't let me skip out.
The bar spills with laughter and cheers, vibrant energy coursing through every inch of the dimly lit room. My teammates fill the space, jokes flying and drinks flowing.
“Nash! Are you going to sip that all night?” Sean nudges me, his playful banter pulling me from my thoughts. I lift my glass, glancing at the half-empty concoction inside, a mix of too-sweet and too-sour that seems to mirror my state of mind.
“Just savoring the flavors,” I reply, forcing a grin, though the weight of the evening hangs like a dark cloud above me.
Leo bursts through the door a moment later, that unmistakable confidence radiating from him as he scans the room. The sight ignites a spark in my chest, a simultaneous thrill and dread mingling within. He struts in, dressed casually but effortlessly, brown hair tousled just so, eyes gleaming with that familiar cockiness. A whirlwind of energy envelops him, and I know right away that the playful side of him is ready to shine tonight.
“Let the games begin!” he calls out, drawing attention like a beacon as laughter and cheers erupt from our teammates, welcoming him into the fold. The sharp edge of my jealousy stings as I watch him seamlessly interact with the others.
I take a deep breath, desperately trying to mask the surge of discomfort twisting in my gut. Part of me admires him for it, but the other part—my heart—sinks, recoiling at the sight. He saunters up to a group of girls, flashing that cocky grin that makes my stomach turn in circles. I want to look away, to distract myself with the noise of my teammates and the moments shared, but I can’t.
With practiced ease, Leo leans into one girl, tilting his head and engaging in conversation, confidence pouring from him as he lays on the charm like a well-practiced performance. The air around them grows electric, her laughter ringing out like music, and I feel a pang deep inside—both drawn to and repulsed by the way he plays the game. The bond we forged feels fragile and hollow, swallowed up by the persona he wears effortlessly.I know it’s all for show. It’s part of the game to keep his secret intact. But it still hurts to witness.
“Nash, why are you over there sulking?” a teammate laughs, nudging my side as the game of pool unfolds behind me.
“Just taking it all in,” I reply, my voice barely above the cheerful chaos surrounding me. The pulse of my jealousy simmers, manifesting as a bittersweet ache in my chest as I see him effortlessly pulling this girl onto the dance floor.
Their laughter, infectious and light, dances across the air, but the more I watch, the more I feel like an outsider in my own skin—my earlier lightheartedness dimming. I remind myself that Leo is just being Leo, playing up his Playboy reputation, but it doesn’t stop the tightness spreading across my chest.
“C’mon, man!” another teammate shouts, jolting me from my thoughts, “You can’t just stand there! Join us!”
But how can I? The weight of unacknowledged feelings clamps around my heart as I watch Leo twirl the girl effortlessly, the way they glide across the floor with grace, an unspoken connection that feels far more powerful than the silent tension between us.
“Yeah, I’ll just—” I start, feigning indifference, my gaze locked on the scene in front of me, unwilling to admit how sharp the sting of jealousy really is. “I’m not feeling it right now.”
“Is it Talia? Are you two dating?” Marcus asks me.
