My shameful past.
And make this work.
Live in the moment.
The thought derails my brain immediately — instead I go into self-destruct mode.
“Pete,” I say. My voice cracks, like it knows what’s coming.
He stirs, kisses the back of my neck. “Mm?”
“It’s been over a month. I think…” I swallow hard. “I think I should meet James.”
Silence. Heavy, suffocating silence.
And that’s how it ends: me blurting out the one thing I know could ruin everything.
Because that’s who I am. Tom: professional self-saboteur, part-time optimist, full-time idiot.
Chapter 14
TOM
Craig’s voice comes through my phone as I sit in the taxi.
“You sure about this?” he asks. “Feels quick. Meeting the husband already. I mean, I’m sure Pete is lovely, but it’s only been a month…” He trails off, the unspoken words hanging heavier than his takeaway coffee.
“Yes, I’m sure,” I say, sounding far more confident than I felt. “I’m driving this. I want to meet him.”
I can feel Craig raising an eyebrow. “Tom, mate, last time you ‘drove’ something was at the pub quiz when you insisted Celine Dion was Swedish.”
“She’s Eurovision Swedish!”
“Yes, which is different toactualSwedish.”
Still, I double down. “This is different. I need to meet him, just know who he is. I can’t really move ahead with Pete until I know who my competition is.”
This time I can feel Craig frowning. “Tom, this isn’t Love Island. The fact that you’re calling this a competition suggests you’re not quite thinking about this in the right way.”
“You know what I mean.”
“I know you shouldn’t think of James as your competition,” he says. “You’re seeing if this man — Pete — fits in your life. That’s the only audition that matters.”
I huff. “Easy for you to say. You’ve already got Phil. You’ve got your setup. Your anchor.”
Craig snorts. “Listen, if James is as important to Pete as Phil is to me, then meeting him isn’t about sizing him up. It’s about finding out if you can happily sit in the same room.”
“Without clawing each other’s eyes out.”
“Stop! If they have a healthy, supportive open relationship, James will genuinely want to get to know you, welcome you, make you feel comfortable, because he knows it’s important to Pete.”
Yes Craig, very sensible. But also, I am currently sweating through my shirt and mentally writing my will.
I sigh. “Yes. Yes, you’re right.”
“And if James is even half as charming as Pete claims, you’ll be fine. You’ll hate yourself for overthinking it.”
I chew my lip. “So… no competition?”
