My eyes have grown wider with each word, and now I can only stare at him in silence. No wonder he hates the brace as much asI do. No wonder he doesn’t want to bond anyone. No wonder he understands my need for freedom. Recalling what Reü said about those with bonded wolves, I feel a sickening lurch in my stomach. Is he willing todieto keep that freedom? I want to ask, but this is neither the time nor the place. Besides, there is another question more prominent.
“How?” My voice is barely a whisper. I clear my throat. “How are you here now? I thought only the one who placed the brace on you or the one who wields the mother piece holds the power to take it off.”
He stares out into the distance for some time, a troubled look on his face, and it’s clear he’s wrestling with whether to share what’s on his mind. With a glance toward Calix, he decides not to. I can see it in his eyes before he opens his mouth to speak.
“Another time,” he says. “When you are back from your expedition to Anam’gate.” There’s a hint of sadness in the half smile he offers. We’re both aware we’ll most likely never meet again, but I decide to play along.
“I’ll keep you to it,” I say with a half smile of my own.
He pulls me into an unexpected hug. “Don’t you go and die on me, Laïna. Promise me you will find the freedom you seek and go live your life.”
I wipe my teary eyes. When did this turn so emotional?
“I promise,” I say to him. “If you could do it, so can I.”
AS I RACE BACK TO my room, guilt gnaws at me for not trusting Seniia and Vilder with my plans. They’ve been so candid and trusting, revealing parts of themselves to me that they’ve likely confided in few others, and it makes this separation all the more painful. I pause, hand hovering over the doorknob. Am I in the wrong for not trusting them?No.I give the door a determined push. I can’t—I simply can’t. Not with this. There is not a single reason for them to value my life—arandom human they picked up along the way—over the greater good of Rea.
Heart pounding, I rush through my spacious quarters, snatching my worn satchel from under the bed. Whatever their opinion is, I amdonebeing manipulated. This war is not my battle to fight. Void, I’m not even Rean. Why shouldIbe the one to suffer? Maybe they should try sacrificing one of their own instead.
I throw open my wardrobe doors. If Vilder’s estimates are accurate, and I’m pretty sure they are, I don’t have much time to spare. With Lo’Ana yesterday, that leaves me exactly one moon to get to Anam’gate before the Mi’Awal moons reaches their peak. Fifty-four days. What should I bring for such extensive travel? There will be no Seniia or Vilder to provide for me this time around.
Forgoing skirts, I decide on thicker black leggings and tunics. This will also make riding easier. I stuff three sets into my bag, then pull one back out. I can’t take too much. Two, in addition to the one I’m wearing, will have to be enough. Besides, if anyone sees me, they’ll no doubt be suspicious if I’m carrying too much. Despite the gravity of the situation, I chuckle as I think about Seniia and all her bags. At least I can do better than that.
Seeing a pair of sturdy boots I haven’t worn so far, I pull them on and lace them all the way to below my knees. Then I throw my felt cloak around my shoulders. Caelen may be temperate, but Chì is north, and fall, even winter, will have arrived by the time I make it there.IfI make it.
Hanging my satchel across my shoulders, I pray no one will notice the unnecessary amount of clothes I’m wearing. As a human, I’m ignored at the best of times, and I can only hope today will be no different.
Pushing any thoughts of failure out of my mind, I grab the small bag of crystal chips Llyr provided me with. A quick peek inside shows at least ten of the valuable selenite chips and several more of the less valuable opal and emerald chips. I’ve so far learned thatselenite is the currency native to Elenia, while emerald and opal chips are native to the realms of Riverii and E’Ilden, respectively. Tightening the strings of the small purse, I hang it around my neck. You can never be too careful.
My stomach lets out a low rumble. Food. I’ll need food. I grab several handfuls of nuts and dried fruits from a tray, then wrap the rest of my breakfast in a cloth. They serve me enough for at least five people, so this will last me a couple days if I’m careful.
Scanning the room for anything left behind, my gaze lands upon my collection of daggers. I sheate three regular daggers in addition to the shadowshard. I flip it around in my hands, its tingle now familiar.
There’s a knock on the door, and I freeze as it cracks open.
“Are you there, Miss Laïna?” Vy calls through the crack.
I swear under my breath. Why now, of all times?
“Just a moment, Vy,” I call back. “Let me put on a tunic.” I hurriedly stuff my bag and cloak inside the closet and push the doors shut. “You can come in now.”
They give me the same deep bow upon seeing me as they always do, and I give them what I hope is a relaxed smile while leaning casually against my closet.
“You were hungry today,” they comment as they take in the empty tray. Their brow furrows. “And did I forget to refill your bowls of fruits and nuts this morning?”
Most of Vilder’s colorful vocabulary flies through my mind.
“Yes?” It comes out as a question. Is this the best I can do?
Their gaze lingers on my boots a little too long. “You are acting quite unusual this morning, miss. Is everything all right?”
“Perfectly fine.” I press my lips together in what I hope is a pleasant smile.
They walk toward where I stand, guarding my closet. “Please move, miss. I am here to see if any of your clothes need mending or ironing.”
Clever. “No need,” I say a little too quickly. “Everything’s great.”
Their eyes narrow. “I am only following orders, miss. Now please move so I can do my job.”
