I will die.
I will die.
The words repeat themselves over and over. Aster will consume my soul to get more powerful. He’ll defeat Casimir and save Rea, and I... I will die because of it.
To think I ever found him attractive... He’s been toying with me all along, hasn’t he? Distracting me. And he succeeded.
I set my jaw. My stupidity—my naivety—ends here.
Is that all humans are to them? Livestock their gods can feed on to get more powerful? How many others like me are there? And are thereothers like Llyr, chosen to raise innocent humans as food for the gods? Seems the minister wasn’t so far off the mark after all.
I can only assume that the reason they haven’t killed me already is that my soul shards will be useless to them if I’m dead. Another moon cycle. That’s all I have before the shards are ready. Before he takes them. Before I die.
Suppressing the need to run toward Anam’gate this very moment, I turn my attention back toward Vilder, who sits next to me. He’s staring at me as if he’s expecting an answer.
“Did you say something?”
“I said they”—he nods toward the Accepted sparring—“are all moving slow this morning.”
I glance in their direction. Calix, our sparring teacher, runs a hand through his sweat-soaked hair; his face is etched with an exasperated expression I can’t blame him for. Most of them were up until the early morning celebrating Lo’Ana, and it shows. The only ones given the day off are the newly bonded Initiated. The rest of us still had to rise and shine at dawn.
“What do you know about Anam’gate?” I ask. Feigning interest in the next couple to enter the ring, I avoid looking directly at him.
“Anam’gate?” I can feel his gaze lingering on my face for a long time. “Why? Are you planning a pilgrimage?”
I shrug, attempting to appear casual. “I heard some of the third-year elen talking about it, and it made me curious.” The lie flows smoothly off my lips. Wearing a brace all those years made me a master in twisting words. To be able to outright lie is nothing compared to that.
“Well, it’s north,” he says. “Almost as far north as you can get without a ship. It’s part of the mountain range that separates Chì from the northeastern peninsula of Shir. At the very center of it. It’s easy to recognize with the way its tall peak is split into two, as if it were hit by a strike of lightning.”
I feel a nervous flutter in my stomach. That’s exactly as it was shown to me in the vision the dark-eyed lady shared.
He shifts his attention back toward the Accepted sparing, and even though I’m positive he holds a lot more information, he remains quiet.
“Watch out, Ina!” Calix warns a moment too late, right before Reü’s dagger slices through Ina’s hand.
I wince at the blood gushing from her hand as Reü pulls his dagger back out.
“Be more careful, will you?” Calix shakes his head. “We can heal, but we cannot regrow limbs.”
Ignoring both Ina and Calix, Reü turns and leaves the sparring ground.
“Seems you forgot to apologize, M’Garan,” Vilder calls after him.
“Fuck off, Aken.”
“Hey,” I say, placing a hand on his thigh. “We’ve talked about this. Be kind.”
Vilder grunts. “He’s making it so hard.”
True as that may be, I still feel bad for Reü. Maybe if his uncle were a little more approving... I lean back on the bench.Let him be, Laïna. He’s one ofthem, remember?I study Vilder through lowered lashes.So is he. Where would his loyalty be if he knew the truth? Would he choose Rea over me?
“So, how far is it to the north of Chì? If it’s common to go there for a pilgrimage, I mean.” I give myself a mental kick.Great job at not sounding suspicious at all.
“It’s above the stormwall, meaning it’s impossible to arrive by boat.” Vilder drags a hand through his messy strawberry-blond hair. “A moon, perhaps a little less. My guess would be fifty days, if you ride at an average speed. As little as three weeks if you ride hard.” He gives me an incredulous stare. “You don’t really mean to go there, do you?”
I look away, unable to meet his gaze, knowing full well I’m doing the one thing I resent everyone else for: keeping secrets.
“Vilder, Laïna,” Calix calls. “You are next. Weapon of choice?”
