He gives an almost invisible nod. “Glamours do not work on gods.”
“What? How?” Burying my face in my hands, I try to make sense of what he’s saying. I can’t wrap my mind around this.Glamour?Myhead snaps back up. “Wait,thisis what you’ve seen the whole time?” I gesture toward Nana’s—my—body in the mirror. It all makes sense now: His reaction when he saw me at the festival in Bowen. How he looks at me—as if barely able to control himself. How I feel as if he’s the only one to trulyseeme.
“Do I know you?” I say, echoing the first time I met him.
A small smile touches his lips, though he can’t hide the hint of sadness in his expression.
“Yes? No?” He takes a couple steps closer, stopping right behind me, then takes off his cloak and hangs it around my naked shoulders. “It’s complicated?”
Void. “Complicated” doesn’t even begin to cover it.
Enjoying the comforting warmth of his cloak, I’m startled to notice he’s shaking, and not from cold. How hard this must be for him, to stand so close to the love he thought he lost, the one he’s mourned for close to a thousand years without his love ever fading. Yet he does not lift a hand to touch me. His self-discipline is impressive. Then it dawns on me.
It’s me.Iam the one he loves. This strikingly beautiful god lovesme. Fiercely.
“It seems you were right,” I say. “It is definitely complicated.” I turn to face him, and he swallows. “This is why you helped me.”
“It is. If I had taken your shards—” He stops abruptly, as if the mere thought sickens him. With a sigh, he runs a hand down his face. “It was Zerex’s—my father’s—plan. He wanted to make me stronger, so I could end... you know.”
Remembering Vilder’s words, I nod. Did he truly give up all that power forme?
“It’s a long story, and a complicated one, but in short, Mah never agreed with my father’s—her consort’s—great plan to create someone solely to consume their powers, and although she complied in the end, her reincarnation of you clearly states otherwise. She knew I could never do anything to harm my mate, so she won after all. He’ll befurious, and he’ll not be alone.” He shakes his head, his face etched with exhaustion. It seems even the gods can get tired. “The agenda of the primordial deities can be complicated at the best of times, and there is a lot more to this, but now is neither the time nor the place to discuss it, but let’s say I hope Mah has some sort of plan, because there is no way my father will let this go unanswered.”
I have enough questions to keep us stranded here for at least a week, but the only thing that rings through my mind is the word “mate.” This divine being is my mate. The feelings that he stirs in me are nothing if not intimidating. I’m torn between running away as fast as I can and throwing myself at him. The first one is caused by logic and the latter by pure primal instinct.
“Uh, so, how does this mate thing work?” I say, gesturing between the two of us. “I mean, we really don’t know each other.”
He takes a couple steps closer, causing me to do the same backward. Until I hit the wall. When he stops, he’s so close that I’m forced to crane my neck to look up at him.
“You may feel as if you don’t know me,” he says. “But to sayIdo not knowyouwould be a lie.” His jaw clenches. “Damnation, Laïna—Nana—you are just the same.”
The way he states my name makes me realize it’s not two different names at all. “It’s a nickname,” I whisper.
He leans closer, his gaze never leaving mine as he says with deliberate slowness, “And that means I know every crease, every curve. I know what makes you sigh, moan, scream... You can have your pick.” His smile turns into a feral grin. “Fuck, I’ve already showed you some of it, haven’t I?”
I go still. “You wouldn’t.”
His smile grows wider. “Oh, I most certainly would.”
What was it Vilder called him? The god of death, dreams, and endings. Of course he would have the power to do something like that.
“But why?” My cheeks burn with such intensity that I’m surprisedI don’t catch fire.
He shrugs. “Why not?”
Because it’s wrong, I want to scream.Because it makes me want you, crave you. Without me even knowing you, you have become a desperate need that consumes me.But I say nothing.
He tilts my chin up, forcing me to meet his golden gaze, and his features soften as he runs his thumb across my lower lip.
“Because they are your memories too.”The words flutter across my mind like a caress, way more intimate than any kiss. He pushes a loose strand of hair from my face, then steps away.
As he stares up at the moons, his fists open and close at his sides.
“You don’t seem too eager to touch me,” I say. “Why?” What if he doesn’t try to control himself but rather is put off by my appearances? I’m a mess, after all. Dirty and covered in blood. I flinch. I need to get out of here. Clean up. Get dressed. Find Seniia and Vilder.
“Because you are not sure if you want me to,” he says gently.
I don’t? I don’t. He’s right. Kind of. Gods, what is wrong with me?
