“Ero thought I could,” I mumble, averting my eyes, a slight flush to my cheeks. Adjusting my cloak, I notice how Vilder studies me, an intent expression on his face.
Void! What was I thinking? I shouldn’t have asked him. “I’m so sorry, Vilder. You don’t have to—”
“No, it’s not that,” he says. “I doubt Ero is wrong, and I’d be honored to bond with you, Laïna.”
My gaze locks with his. For a moment, I can’t speak, the weight of his choice, his trust, making my eyes burn with unshed tears.I almost can’t believe he’s willing to tie his life to mine. Not because he has to, not because someone commanded it, but because he chooses to.
We gather together, and Vilder brings out a small knife, slicing across our left palms. Turning to face him, I clasp my hand with his, mixing our blood.
“I, Vilder, willingly claim Laïna as my anamè. She is now a sister in blood and in spirit, and I swear to protect her, support her, and stay loyal to her from this night until the eternal night claims me in itsembrace.” The words differ slightly from the bonding ceremony, but the last part I recognize.
I hold Vilder’s gaze as I repeat the vow, then shiver at what feels like a spindly web melting into my body.
A long, silent gaze passes between us, full of unspoken understanding. To willingly bond after being braced is not an easy feat for either of us.
The corner of his mouth rises. “I’m glad it is you,” he says, and I fling my arms around his torso, giving him a tight hug.
Turning toward Seniia, I repeat the ceremony with her.
I close my eyes as the second bond envelops me, and Seniia squeezes my hand.
“Sisters,” she whispers, and knowing what this means to her, it takes all I have not to break into tears.
Vilder wraps his arms around the two of us. “Whether we fail or succeed, we do it together.”
Seniia nods. “If you go down, we go down. You arenotalone.”
“It is time.” The voice of Mah rings through the night. Her wolf form once again lifts its eyelids, and her eyes, glowing like twin embers, push back the oppressive darkness.
Seniia and Vilder walk toward the massive stone statues, Vilder stopping by Zerex’s side while Seniia stands by Mah. The tops of their heads don’t even reach the height of the claws of the wolves as they stand by their paws.
There must be inscriptions on the side of the statues as I can hear Vilder mumbling to himself, “It’s a contract.”
He brings out his dagger and slices across the same palm Seniia healed for him just a moment ago, and Seniia takes her white-handled boline and does the same. A tense silence fills the air as they stare at each other for a brief moment. Then, with an audible breath, they both press their palms toward the hand-shaped dip in the stone.
The gods speak as one. “And it is done.”
I take a couple tentative steps forward, holding my breath in anticipation, then releasing it with a sigh when I’m not burned to ashes.
“Death before rebirth.” The gods’ voices rumble as their eyes slide closed once again. “In the depths of the dark, all is renewed, and in silence, the seed of wisdom is gained.”
The ground rumbles again, and then everything is silent, leaving me in darkness once more. No longer blinded by the light of their glowing eyes, I realize the Celestial Moon is almost at its peak, her four lesser moons all full, all shining brightly in the sky, marking Mi’Awal. No more than a bell at most. Stepping forward, it strikes me that if I were Rean, the Mi’Awal Moon would be my birth moon.
Happy twenty-first moon day, then, Laïna.
chapter twenty-eight
ONCE I’M PAST THE GODS, the path narrows significantly. The ravine drops away on either side, the darkness so complete it seems to swallow the stone itself. Mist curls around my ankles, cold and damp. The five full moons cast their light through the jagged crack splitting Anam’gate down its center, illuminating only a narrow ribbon of stone beneath my feet. Everything else is darkness.Though it is still wide enough for comfortable walking, I can’t help how the sheer drop on either side makes me dizzy. With a sharp kick, I send a stone plummeting into the darkness. Then, holding my breath, I wait for the sound of it hitting the bottom. All I get is a silence so profound it makes me question if the stone even fell. Gripping my satchel, I pull my gaze away from the shadowy ravine.
Focusing on the crack down the middle of Anam’gate, I pick up my pace and stride forward toward where I believe the entrance must be. As I come closer to the mountain, however, it becomes increasingly clear that entering won’t be an easy feat. Right at the entrance, thepath simply stops, leaving a huge gap without any obvious way to cross. Except for the ribbon of moonlight stretching across the void like a luminous path, there is no bridge, rope, or anything else that could be useful.
Crawling my way to the edge, I stare down into the darkness of the bottomless pit while contemplating my options. How many have passed the guardians only to die here? Still, I don’t want to turn back—if I would even be allowed back out—and I don’t want to give up without at least trying. There must be something that I don’t see. Unless it’s an impossible task to enter Anam’gate, but that wouldn’t make any sense. Why have guardians if no one can reach it anyway? The only option I see is to run and jump and maybe, just maybe, with enough speed, I can make it past. But that ribbon of light . . . Not for the first time, I wish I were born Rean, with their agility and grace. I stare at the gap. Could it be that humans are not meant to reach it?
I walk a stretch back down the narrow path, then proceed to take off the heavy skins that have kept me warm since we left the Chìen nomads. The air is freezing, but the skins are too heavy and will only drag me down. Then I tie the satchel to my back and turn to look toward the entrance of Anam’gate again. The moonlight path glows, waiting.Focus, Laïna.You can do this.I let out a heavy breath. And run.
Reaching the end of the path, I prepare to jump. But just as my feet push back against the edge, ready to take the leap, it crumbles, causingme to stumble forward, arms flailing in the hope of grabbing ahold of something, anything. I can barely believe my luck when my fingers hook onto the edge on the other side. I scramble for a foothold, but all I manage is to send a small rockslide tumbling down, and now I’m holding on with pure adrenaline alone. Then my fingers are slipping, and with nowhere for me to put my feet, I’m doomed. A high-pitched scream escapes my lips as I lose my grip, tumbling together with the rocks toward a certain death.
Memories flash before my eyes like a kaleidoscope of emotions, while cool air rushes past me. Then my fear of death is replaced by a sense of acceptance.Finally, there will be peace. It can’t be much longer now. I squeeze my eyes shut and brace myself for the impact, ready to face my inevitable death.
