Now it’s been two days since I last heard from him, and it feels like he’s avoiding me. I tried to call him last night, but he didn’t pick up. We’ve seen each other every day for the past two months we’ve been at Easton, so the lack of contact has me really worried.
I won’t wait any longer for him to come to me. Taking the shuttle to his dorm on the other side of campus, I get off at Lane Tower. When another resident opens the door, I slip through behind them and walk up the stairs. I knock four times when I reach Danny’s room.
His gruff voice is so loud it carries through the heavy door. “Dude! I told you and everyone else on the team. I’m fine. I just want to be alone, Coop. Go hang with Jess.”
My heart drops. He didn’t recognize our knocking code.
“Danny? It’s me.”
I’m met with silence. It’s like he completely disappeared. Is hepretendingnot to be home? I knock on the door again. “Danny. I know you’re in there.”
“Oh! Gracie, is that you out there?” His voice sounds unnaturally high.
I tap my foot impatiently outside his door. “Uh, yeah. Can I come in?”
“Hm? Come in? Sure.” I hear scrambling on the inside of the door, like things are being shifted around and put away. After what feels like an eternity, the door finally cracks open. It’s dark inside his room, and he squints from the contrast of the hallway light.
My lips part in surprise when he opens the door all the way. Danny’s sporting deep, dark bags under his eyes. His thick hair is matted and greasy, and he’s wearing a stained white shirt and boxers. It looks like he hasn’t slept or left this room in days. A video game is paused in the background, and a bunch of dining hall carryout containers are overflowing in the trash can.
“What’s going on? Why haven’t you called or texted me back?”
His eyes scan our surroundings, as if the answers to my questions are written on a slip of paper he’s somehow misplaced. I can tell the minute he decides lying is a lost cause. “I…I’m sorry, Gracie. I’m so fucking sorry.” He rubs his eyes aggressively with the palms of his hands, covering the top half of his face.
I lean closer to him. “I want to be here for you, but I have no idea what’s going on. Talk to me. Open and honest, remember?”I try to softly pry his hands away from his eyes, but they won’t budge. “Danny.Danny. Look at me.”
He slowly lifts his face and starts sobbing. My stomach twists. The last time he cried like this was Charger’s funeral. Worst case scenarios run through my mind.Did he cheat on…?No, Danny would never.
With renewed panic, I urgently ask, “What’s wrong?”
I push into his room, closing the door behind him, then lead him to the bed, urging him to sit. I settle behind him, positioning him between my legs and wrapping my arms around him so I can talk into his ear. Even in his fragile state, my body applies firm pressure to his, like I’m physically reinforcing our bond.
“It’s so fucked up, Gracie.I’mso fucked up.”
“What? Why?”
Lacing his hands through mine, I hug him tighter in hopes he’ll calm down. He just shakes his head, either unable or unwilling to talk through his sobs.
I try changing the subject. “Remember when we were eleven and couldn’t agree on Halloween costumes? You were adamant about going as something ‘mighty,’ which may have been your word of the year. My initial suggestion, Gordo and Lizzie McGuire, did not go over well.”
His reaction to that was visceral at the time, pretending to gag over the mere thought of going as Disney Channel characters.
“After two weeks of arguing, do you remember the costume you ended up wearing?”
“A…a lion,” he breathes.
“A lion. I went as a witch. And what did I force Tessa to wear to complete our theme? Can you tell me?”
He slumps, shaking his head like he can’t answer.
“That’s okay, don’t worry about it.”
He heaves an exhausted sigh. There’s a long pause before I hear him whisper, “A closet. Tessa went as a closet.”
I laugh. “Yep. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. Absolutely no one got it. Not one person. It was the flop of the century.”
“I didn’t care. You loved it,” he says softly, sounding miserable.
“I loveyou,” I reply, nuzzling the side of his neck from behind him. “I love you,” I repeat over and over again, punctuated by soft kisses behind his ear.
