Oh my God.No. This can’t be happening. Danny’s never been with me during one of Dad’s rampages. He always arrives soon after, in a rush, but usually after Dad has passed out or left. I never wanted Danny to see this side of me. I’ve gone through painstaking efforts to keep him separate. Shit.Shit.
My heartbeat quickens. I jump up and frantically smooth down my hair. “D-Danny, you have t-to go. Now.”
He shakes his head, staring at me with sadness in his eyes. “I’m not leaving, Gracie.”
“D-Danny. Please,” I beg him. “It will make things so much worse. If you care about me, you’ll leave.” I start pushing on his chest, but trying to move him is a lost cause. He’s a brick wall. This stubborn boy is going to get us both hurt. I can’t let anything happen to him. I’d never forgive myself.
“BecauseI care about you, I’ll stay,” he responds.
My dad always goes straight to the refrigerator when he gets home drunk off his ass. I usually put a sandwich on the table to prevent a blow up, but I didn’t think he’d be home at all tonight.
Dad’s footsteps echo through the hallway. He’ll be here soon if I don’t meet him right away. Each step is like a blow to my heart.
Boom.
Boom.
Boom.
His heavy tread echoes from the hallway to the family room.
“I d-don’t want you involved in this, D-Danny, leave!” Tears roll down my face as I frantically push on his chest, but he refuses to move. “Leave, please.Leave, D-Danny,” I croak feebly now, losing the fight to push him away.
“No. I’m done standing on the sidelines. What we have is worth getting ‘involved.’ Iwantto be involved with you. Please don’t push me away.” His eyes mist over, pleading with mine.
“You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into. He’s,God, he’s almost here…” I weakly tug at his shirt.
“Every time I see a mark on you, a piece of my heart shatters. Every fucking time, Gracie. I’ve hadenough. If you want me to beg for your forgiveness after this, I will. But I’m not asking for your permission. Not anymore. You’re too important to me.”
My brain screams for Danny to leave, but my heart disagrees, desperately wanting him to stay. I can’t deny that having him near makes me feel safer.
“Susaaaannah! Why aren’t you answerin’? Your stutter make you go duh-duh-duh-deaf now, too?” he mocks. “Fuckin’ dumbassss. Stupid as shhhhit. Your mother would be so disappointed.”
The hallway bathroom door crashes against the wall, and I flinch. Danny wraps me in a hug, pressing my head against hischest and covering the other ear with his hand. That doesn’t stop me from hearing the long stream of pee hitting the water in the toilet bowl. At least I won’t have to clean it up this time.
My body temperature keeps throwing me for a loop, alternating between hot humiliation and frigid fear. Panicking, I pull out of Danny’s embrace. “I’m… Should we?—”
“What am I lookin’ at here?” My dad stands tall and menacing, staring straight at us. His eyes are rimmed red from the alcohol, and his lips are shiny, dripping almost. He’s more disheveled than I’ve seen him in months. The cream colored button-down work shirt he’s wearing appears to be stained with beer…or God knows what. One of his pant pockets is flipped inside out, and his right shoelace is untied. He only gets this way if the bartender cuts him off, which rarely happens given how much money he spends there.
I try to take a step forward, but I’m stopped by something. I glance down. When did Danny start holding my hand? I shake my hand aggressively, trying to let go of his. He holds it tighter.
“What do youthinkyou’re looking at?” Danny counters.Oh no.
“You have about three secondsss to get outta my house, boy.” My dad glares at me. “I’ll deal with you after, Susannah.”
“I’m not going anywhere unless she comes with me.” Danny looks my father directly in his eyes.
“I shoulda known, Susannah. Having boys over like a lil’ whore when your ol’ man ain’t home,” he slurs, drool coming out of his mouth. “Such a fuckin’ ssslut.”
I hopelessly try to de-escalate my father. “D-Dad, you know Dan-Danny, he lives next d-door. I’m not having any b-boys over.”
Danny interrupts my desperation. “Don’t explain yourself to him, Gracie.” His voice is dark, darker than I’ve ever heard. “Youdon’t owe him anything with the way he treats you. He won’t take you at your word anyway.”
My dad stumbles a drunken step closer to Danny. All six feet of Danny meets Dad’s stare dead on.
“Is this how you treat your eldersss, boy?” he snarls. “I’ll sssay it one more time.Get. Out. Of. My. House.”
Danny puffs his chest out and sniffs. “You can’t do anything to me. I don’t answer to you. I’ll call the police.”
