“It’s up to you,” Ben tells Gracie before turning his attention back to me. “I’ve learned through trial and error that she always makes better decisions than me. I just follow her around everywhere like an annoying shadow.” He shrugs, like it’s no big deal that he’s stuck to her like glue. Following her everywhere, when I barely see her. I didn’t even know she made a new friend,let alone a potential boyfriend. And quite possibly the friendliest guy on the planet.
Is Gracie into dating now? Has she kissed him? Does shelovehim? The thought of Gracie giving him her heart makes me more nauseous than the thought of her in his arms. I know I have no right to care, but my thoughts consume me anyway. I quickly avert my eyes, trying to focus on anything but my feelings during this nightmare. One of us has to leave. I can’t keep staring at them together.
After looking so light and comfortable around Ben, Gracie’s gaze finds me, no doubt seeing the very real anxiety in my eyes. She probably thinks it’s related to my football game.
She glances at Ben and speaks casually, with no stutter (clearly fine now thathe’shere), “No, that’s okay. I’m sure Tori and D have to review the playbook together.”
Jesus. Gracie saying “D” causes a visceral reaction in me, and my whole body shudders. How did I let it get this bad? I’ve been a selfish dickhead.
Tori observes me closely. “That’s so sweet of you, Susannah. You’re absolutely right. D’s just been so busy with football, and I’ve been swamped with homecoming plans. We haven’t really had any time to connect like we’ve wanted,” she pouts, stroking my forearm. “We’ll see you at the game later, then!”
Ben is now looking around at all of us, most likely confused at the current dynamic.Yeah, that makes two of us, buddy.My gaze ping pongs between the two of them, still trying to untangle my messy feelings and understand their relationship.
After a beat, Gracie grabs some napkins. “Enjoy your lunch,” she mutters before walking away with Ben.
I blow out a frustrated breath as they sit down together on the other side of the cafeteria.
My lunch card gets punched, and I make my way over to my usual table. I typically sit with my teammates and thecheerleaders. It started off as team bonding and then became a habit. I can’t even remember the last time I sat with Gracie.
I’m lost in thought when I feel my arm get jerked to the side. Tori pulls me behind a pillar before I can sit down. “Um, what was that?” she asks, narrowing her eyes at me. “Are you jealous of Ben?”
I try to say, “of course not,” but what comes out is…silence. Complete and utter silence.
“What the hell, D? I thought you said nothing’s going on between you two.”
“Nothingisgoing on between us.”
She searches my eyes, fuming, trying to interpret my emotions. “But youwantsomething to be going on, don’t you?”
I try to say, “of course not,” but once again, my mouth stays shut. I avert my eyes.
Tori sets down the yogurt parfait she picked up in the lunch line and lifts her fingers to her temples. “I can’t believe this. I honestly cannot believe this. Un-fucking-believeable. I put in the work. I date you, support you, come to all your practices, andthisis how you repay me? By wanting to screw your weird friend who still stutters at sixteen years old?”
I swivel my head toward her slowly, vibrating with fury. My voice lowers in disgust. “What thefuckdid you just say about her?”
Tori glares at me, not backing down. I never thought of her as anything but attractive until now. She looks downright ugly as she sneers, “Well, it doesn’t matter what I said, does it? You don’t want me. You wanther.”
“This whole time, you…you what? You never liked Grace?” I wince, thinking about the dumb assumptions I made.
She huffs. “Would you like someone thatI’mobsessed with?”
“Obsessed?” I shake my head. “What’s your problem, Tori?”
Raising her chin and crossing her arms, she complains, “I told her to stay away from you, but no matter what she does, no matter how much distance she puts between you, you still choose her, huh?”
Hurt laces her tone, but I’m incapable of feeling sympathy. I’m too busy focusing on the first part of her sentence.
“Back up. Youtoldher to stay away from me? What the hell does that mean?”
Tori looks only slightly ashamed. “She was taking up too much of your brain space, which should be reserved for school, football, and me—youractualgirlfriend. She was distracting you from your goals. I stepped in to free that space up so you could focus.”
I need to find Gracie. “Tori, that’s so messed up. I thought you liked me. You don’t do shit like that to people you like.”
“Whatever. I didn’t do anything to you. I did it to her.”
I drop my tray down on the table next to the pillar, making a loud noise. “‘Kay. In case you don’t realize, this,” I spit out, gesturing between us, “is over. I need to find Gracie and apologize for everything.”
I’ve been an idiot. If I prioritized her more, maybe she would’ve told me about what Tori said to her.
