Fuck have I been reading him wrong?
I mean we almost kissed before, but then he kissed Gen and broke my heart into a million pieces. I assumed it was because of Enzo, but I don’t know, maybe it was just because I meant nothing to him.
Still, mean nothing to him.
“I’m not watching in black and white again,” he says, settling beside me.
I toss him an extra blanket from the couch to my left. “You’ll survive.”
He doesn’t take it, so I drape it over his lap myself. He scowls, but he doesn’t move it. “She’s brilliant,” I continue, gesturing toward the screen.
“She’s obnoxious.”
“She’s a woman speaking in a man’s world. That’s what you’re picking up on.”
He laughs, “No, she’s pretending she’s not in love with him. That’s what I’m picking up on.”
I glance over at him. He’s watching the screen, and I try to submerge the urge I feel to talk about the kiss he made clear he didn’t want to talk about again. But, I feel like an insecure teenager right now and with Enzo’s training on top of that, I can’t help the overwhelming strain in my heart. I think tears begin to pool in my eyes because I don’t even realize when Elijah turns to me, searching them.
“Are you okay?” He whispers.
I force a fake close-mouthed smile. “Yeah, just tired.”
He keeps his eyes on me but I turn, focusing my eyes on the screen in front of me.
“I know mental fortification is tough for you.”
I stay quiet for a moment before letting out the soft sound. “Do you think it’s worth it?”
“What?”
“Everything you all do to me.” I say, turning back to him now.
He stays quiet. Probably since we haven’t talked about this in six years, so I break the silence for him. “Do you think the Orlovs would really come for me just because of a stupid tradition to sacrifice a baby girl if it’s not a boy?”
“Yes,” he says quietly.
I look at him now, our eyes locking. But he breaks the tension. “You know that’s not the only reason they’d want you.”
“It’s minuscule information,” I retort, dropping my head.
“But you told Enzo.”
I huff and tilt my chin up, knowing he’s right. Even though it’s nothing to me, the Orlovs have two reasons to want me dead.
“Why don’t you like these movies?” I ask, changing the focus of this conversation that’s only reminding me that the Orlov family will try to kill me.
He shrugs. “They’re fantasy. Nobody talks like that. Nobody loves like that.”
I tuck my knees to my chest. Disappointed in his answer. “Maybe not now. But they used to.”
He doesn’t reply. He’s quiet for so long I almost think he’s falling asleep. Until— “Have you ever been in love?” he asks.
I look at him, stunned. His voice is unfamiliar, and I lie. “No.”
“Good.”
And we sit in silence, watching people in love pretend they aren’t.
