Jess lowered her head and stared at their hands. She could move over, just the tiniest move and they’d be touching. Hisfingers looked strong and warm, like they could hold her and treat her gently.
“Yeah,” she replied. “Thanks for helping me out today on set, too. I…”
I what?she wondered again. I want to kiss you? I want to leave now?
It had never felt like this before. Jess was confident, bold with men. But she was usually in a nightclub in a tight black dress and sexy lingerie: her armour. Not sitting on the edge of a fold-out bed in polka dot pyjamas and an oversized sweater. She felt more vulnerable than if she’d been naked.
Looking back up, their eyes met: his filled with sadness and hunger at the same time. The combination was completely irresistible.
Giving in, she leant towards him and he met her halfway, letting their foreheads rest against each other, their eyes closed. She couldn’t believe she’d resisted this; it was so natural to touch him. When Nate cupped her face in his hand, he was as warm and strong as she’d expected, and she leant into his palm, allowing his touch to calm her. Slipping her arms around his waist, she ran her fingertips lightly down his back.
She could feel his desire radiating off him and it drew her in closer, their lips so close now she could feel his breath on her tongue.
“Can I kiss you?” he whispered.
She nodded, struggling to make her voice work. Her lips tingled at the idea. There was nothing she wanted more than to kiss him. Her need drew her in like water flowing downhill. Inevitable. Unavoidable.
Tipping her head, she brought her lips to his, letting a sigh escape into his open mouth. He kissed her softly, his lips findinghers, his hand stroking her hair, pulling her close. So gentle with her it made her heart ache.
The kiss gave her courage, and running her hands up his forearms, his shoulders, across his bare chest, she explored him, feeling his muscles tense beneath her touch. He kissed her harder, taking her in his arms and pulling her onto his lap, then sprinkled small kisses down her neck, finding the dip where it met her shoulder.
“You’re so lovely, Jess, I can’t believe…” he mumbled into her hair as his hands slipped over her shoulders and across her collarbone.
Letting her head fall back, she closed her eyes, softening under his caress. To just feel her body under his hands. The heat. The need. She wanted this. Wanted him.
“I really like you,” he whispered, running his hands under her sweatshirt and lifting it over her head. They moved back onto the mattress, lying side-by-side. Nate traced his fingers along the shoulder seam of her pyjama top and down to her waist, like he was memorising her. Treasuring her. He cupped his hand around her pyjama-covered hip and tucked her up against him, kissing her deeply.
He wasn’t much taller than her, but she still felt tiny up against him.
She wanted to feel the weight of him on her. Feel that familiar feeling. The pressure on her chest. Their breath in each other’s ears. Letting herself get lost in him. Lost in his desire. She knew the deliciousness of that feeling.
But then what? Jess pulled herself back slightly. Then the awkward morning. The potential stream of texts or strained conversation.
The empty feeling she’d try to ignore.
Pressing her hand against Nate’s chest, she created a space between them, allowing cold protective walls to click into place around her heart. The confusion in his eyes was hard to miss. It would hurt him, but she couldn’t risk it. Right now she wanted him, but this—the easy hookup, the shallow, fast relationship—wasn't the life for her anymore. She turned away.
“I can’t…” she said, stumbling to her knees and off the bed. “I’m sorry.”
She scooped up her discarded sweatshirt, hugged it to her chest and rushed into the bedroom, closing the door behind her.
15
THE NEXT MORNING, NATE WOKEto the ding of a phone. Rolling over, he sat slowly, leaning back against the pull-out couch and rubbing his hand over his sleep-mussed hair. He hadn’t slept well, but not because of the bed. He’d watched Jess run last night, completely confused. Did he do something? Did he overstep? He wasn’t experienced with dating, having been in a relationship for forever, but he didn’t think he’d done anything awful.
He’d thought the connection with Jess had felt mutual. Real. Last night, there had been something special between them. Something worth exploring. But who was he kidding? His life was a mess, and long distance wouldn’t work. No wonder she ran away. This was not how you got your life sorted. It was how you made it even more complicated and confusing. Untangling everything was already a lot without adding Jess into the picture. It wasn’t fair on him or her. But—
The phone dinged again, and he searched for it down the side of the couch, wondering who on earth was messaging him at this early hour. Still half asleep, he tapped the phone and read the texts.
Dave 6am
Jess I’m sorry for saying those things. I didn’t mean it. Call me when you’re free.
Dave 6:10
Please call babe. Can’t stop thinking about you. I miss you so much. The bed feels cold without you here. xx
Dave 6:12
