“Oh yeah, you kept calling my girlfriend Bobo.”
“Mhm, Bonnie hated that, and so did you. But it turns out I was right, because when I found you at midnight, blacked out, topless and hugging the toilet, old Bobo The Bitch Clown was taking photos of you. She was threatening to sell them unless I gave her something juicier. I didn’t want your privacy violated like that, so after I got you to bed with Danny watching over you so you didn’t choke on your own vomit, Bitchy Bobo and I went down to the beach. I’d accidentally stumbled upon the group sex earlier and had been invited to join. When I came back, those horny folks were more than willing to have theirfifteen minutes of fame with the world thinking they’d scored with me. I stripped down, and Bonnie took out her phone. She sold the photos, I got in trouble, and you got to turn twenty-one without the world seeing your breasts without your consent.”
I chew the inside of my cheek, the anger and hurt from that night flaring in my stomach as I recount the tale. Bonnie left the resort that night, and even though Mabel cried for the rest of the trip because her girlfriend had ghosted her, I couldn’t have been happier to see her gone forever.
“I don’t…I don’t understand. Why? Why would you take the fall for me like that? I was awful to you that weekend. I was awful to you most weekends.”
“Yeah, you were. You’re a brat, Mabel. A real pain in my ass. But you didn’t deserve to have your privacy violated like that. And for me, flashing my dick to the world is no big deal. It’s barely a blemish on the tapestry of my life. If the world had gotten its hands on those photos of you, it could have ruined everything. It wouldn’t have mattered that Bonnie basically assaulted you with the intent to sell you out. That vulnerable moment of imperfection would have been your cross to bear. I’ve seen what you’ve gone through since we were kids, working twice as hard to try to prove your worth to the world when that never should have been your responsibility inthe first place. I saw an opportunity to use my male privilege for good, and I took it.” I lift the mug in my hand. “You’re my circus and my monkeys, Marshmallow.”
“Oh my god,” she whispers, pressing her fingers to her lips. I can see the cogs turning in her head, the wheels spinning, the engine sputtering as the story settles in her brain. “Oh my god, you were so right about Bonnie. She really was Bobo The Bitch Clown.”
My snorting laugh catches me off guard, but Mabel’s accompanying giggle sends me spinning with glee.
“So there you go. That’s how a person fakes an orgy.”
“Okay,” Mabel says, blowing out a breath to calm her laughter. “Okay, but can I ask you a serious question?”
“Of course.”
“Have you been putting the pussy on a pedestal?"
I snort. “You are not quotingThe 40-Year-Old Virginto me right now, are you?”
“You did it first! But fine. Serious question. What does virginity mean to you?”
My unamused glare doesn’t satisfy her, because she continues. “Don’t get all heteronormative on me. You’re bi, too. You know that putting a penis inside a vagina isn’t the be-all, end-all sex act. My first timewas with a woman during my freshman year of college. Neither of us has a penis, but it was the first time I shared orgasms with another person, and so that’s the night I officially said goodbye to virginity. You don’t have to give me specifics, but I know you’re twenty-seven years old. I know you’ve dated. I’m just curious as to what we’re dealing with here.”
“Ah,” I rub a hand over the back of my neck, feeling my cheeks heat. “Gotcha. Well. I haven’t…there’s been no…”
“You know what? Never mind. I shouldn’t have asked. You don’t have to tell me anything. This is none of my business. I’m sorry, Ryder. I shouldn’t have?—”
“No, it is your business. I want to tell you. I want to tell you everything. I have dated. I’ve…fooled around a bit, you know? When I was a teenager, I mean. Never any penetration, given or received. But, uh, what we did in your bed…”
“Dry humping each other in our pajamas?” She finishes when I trail off, and I nod, feeling like an awkward teenager.
“That was the first time I’ve…that’s the most intimate I’ve been with anyone for almost ten years.”
“But why?” she asks, and my heart leaps, my chest aching with the painful, agonizing wanting I’ve been living with for years.
“Mabel,” I breathe. “You know why.”
I can’t bring myself to say it, the truth that probably makes me an awful person and an even worse ex to my former partners. It never mattered how much I liked the women I’ve dated, how cool or smart or funny they were. None of them were Mabel, so I could never get myself to go there with them. How could I sleep with someone when, the whole time, I knew I’d be thinking about someone else? Wishing they were someone else?
With the men, it was easier to compartmentalize. But even that lost its appeal quickly.
Her answer is a quiet whimper as her eyes flutter closed, and I swear I can sense it, the moment she finally understands. And when she opens her eyes, I feel it. Mabel is seeing me, all of me, for the first time. My heart is hers to break, and now she finally knows. She reaches out, brushing her knuckles against the stubble on my jaw. I close my eyes, and her knuckles are replaced by her lips peppering gentle pecks on my mouth, my jaw, down my throat, little murmurs of my name between each seductive kiss. Then she’s on the floor in front of me, spreading my legs and crawling into the space between them.
“Mabel, what are you—” I hiss when she runs her fingers up my thighs and hooks them in the waistband of my sweats.
“Can I?” she asks, mischievous dancing across her features as she gazes up at me from my lap. I have an idea of what she’s asking for, and, fuck, do I want it. I want it bad.
“You don’t have to,” I murmur, even as I lift my hips, allowing her to pull my sweats down to my knees. My dick, rock hard and aching, slaps against my stomach, leaving a wet spot on my t-shirt.
“Ryder, you showed the world your cock to protect my virtue. Being the devoted wife I am, the least I can do is suck it.”
God, her sexy little smirk has my eyes rolling to the back of my head.
“I don’t want you to feel obligated.”
