15
ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE AND TACOS
The countdown is on, sports fans! We’re just two weeks out from the start of The Winter Games in Milan, and America’s favorite newlyweds are ready to bring home the cheddar!
Or, in Mabel Quinn’s case, ready to eat some cheddar, but I digress.
Mabel and her husband, Ryder Finch, were spotted last night having a cozy dinner at a hole-in-the-wall taqueria near their home in Colorado, braving below-freezing temperatures to spend some quality time together in their last few days of down time before the big show. The pair looked comfortable in casual attire, and while this reporter wouldn’t be so quick to carb-and-cheese-load so close to the Games, Ryder didn’t seem to mind that his new wife was sporting her stretchy pants and enjoying her taco feast. The snowboarder, who is set to represent Team USA as theoldest female competitor in her sport, might know something the rest of us don’t about proper nutrition, or maybe the new Mrs. Finch is already eating for two? Only time and the judges in Milan will tell.
- Sarah Hannigan, Inside The Games
16
A LONG LIST OF EX-LOVERS
As one half of America's Favorite Couple, decorated snowboarder Ryder Finch’s personal life is of great interest to those of us who have been following the young star since his first championship over ten years ago. Though the beloved Mr. Finch may be locked down (for now), his romantic history is long and storied. The details of his relationships have been kept private through the years, but young Ryder has rarely been photographed without a beautiful man or woman on his arm. So let's take a stroll through that long list of ex-lovers while we wonder—are any of these old flames still driving the new Mrs. Finch insane?
- Sarah Hannigan, Inside The Games
17
WE’RE ALL HOT GIRLS HERE
RYDER
Danny
Hey hubby. Quick question, no big deal. Did you happen to murder Mabel and shove her body through a wood chipper somewhere to rid yourself of this whole accidental marriage problem?
Ryder
Okay, first of all, obviously the answer to that is no. If anyone in this accidental marriage was going to end up murdered and shoved through a wood chipper by their spouse, it would definitely be me. And just in case the FBI agents assigned to monitor our phonesdon’t believe me…
*image*
Mabel is here in the room with me. Very much alive. We’re doing an interview in a few minutes.
Danny
Then would you mind asking your darling wife to answer my messages? She’s doing that thing where she pretends she lives in the nineteenth century and is only reachable by a carrier pigeon.
Ryder
Yeah, she’s not talking to me either. Before we left the condo, she was just standing in the kitchen, silently eating Mallomars while staring at the microwave. But can you blame her?
Danny
Not one bit. If someone started a rumor that I was pregnant every time I ate Mexican food, I’d have half a dozen invisible babies and as many mental breakdowns under my belt by now.
But still. I need her shoe size. The sneakers she wants to wear to the Opening Ceremonies are a tragedy that I am currently working to rectify.
Ryder
She’s a seven and a half, narrow.
Danny
You know? Your obsession with my best friend is a little pathetic.
