I’m married to the man who has the audacity to look like a fucking snack even when I know he has to be just as hungover and travel-worn as I am.
My stomach does a weird, stupid flip thing when his eyes meet mine.
“We’re going to need rules.” I say plainly, thankful that my voice doesn’t betray any of my inner turmoil.
“Do you mean for living together?”
“No, I mean house rules for beer pong. Of course, I mean rules for living together. For all of it. I need some kind of structure. I need to know I have even the smallest amount of control over my life or I’m going to lose it.”
Ryder sits down on the couch, slinging an arm over the back of it and crossing one leg over the other. He looks so damn calm, it’s freaking me out.
“By all means then, Marshmallow. Lay down the law.”
I bite back the urge to yell at him for the stupid nickname. We have much bigger problems to deal with than kicking the pet name habit right now, even if my stupid stomach does another somersault.
“Fine. Rule number one. That,” I point to the couch he’s lounging on. “is where you sleep. I onlyhave one bedroom in this place, and I’m not sharing it with you.”
“I wouldn’t expect you to.”
“Rule number two, this is my house. I get final say on everything. What plays on the TV, what gets cooked in the kitchen, how loud the music is. And I get first dibs on the bathroom, always.”
“Makes sense. I’m the intruder here, albeit a reluctant one. I’ll respect any and all boundaries you put into place.”
I grind my teeth together, annoyed at how agreeable he’s being.
“How are you so calm about all of this?”
Working his jaw back and forth, Ryder looks at me like a burned-out teacher staring down a room full of ornery kindergartners.
“I’m not calm. I’m freaking the fuck out, Mabel. We’re married. Like real-life, big-time husband and wife married. But those are the cards we’ve been dealt. There’s nothing we can do about it now unless we want to sabotage ourselves. So, yeah, I’m going to do as Trina says. I’m going to live here and agree to all your rules and play the role of the besotted husband, because what’s the alternative?”
“We could tell Trina to go fuck herself.” Ryder rolls his eyes, but I’m serious. “I mean, I love her, butI don’t see why she wouldn’t just let us get the annulment like we wanted.”
“You know as well as I do that it’s in the best interest for both of us if we keep our heads down and get through the Milan Games before we make any more big moves. Careers have been destroyed over smaller things than quickie, accidental, drunk marriages.”
I sigh, sinking onto the couch next to Ryder and pinching the bridge of my nose. His knee bumps against mine, and like this morning when he held my hair back as I puked, I feel like we’re on the same team.
“I know. You’re right. I just feel so stupid. I’ve spent my entire life trying to be a good girl, a role model, someone who always does the right thing. And now?—”
“You’re still all of those things, Mabel. I promise. Even when this is all over, I’ll make sure the world still sees you exactly how you are.”
“And what is that?” I ask, cocking a brow in his direction. Ryder just shrugs.
“Perfect.”
My stomach swoops, and suddenly I’m thirteen again, watching Ryder slide a wilted corsage onto the wrist of his freshman homecoming date. It was the first time I’d seen Ryder in a suit, save for ourparents’ tenth anniversary party a few years earlier, and I was smitten. He looked so grown up, so handsome, and I felt like such a dumb kid when he turned and caught me staring. He called me Marshmallow and told me to grab a camera and take some pictures, and I was overwhelmed with jealousy.
Jealous of the girl whose name I can’t remember but who got to be his date that night.
Jealous that I’d never know what it felt like to have Ryder hold my hand, wearing flowers he’d bought me around my wrist like a bracelet.
Jealous that his date was someone else, and I would always just be Little Mabel Marshmallow to him.
“I have one more rule.”
“Lay it on me.”
“No one else. At least not until after Milan and only after we’ve got a separation plan in motion. And even then, if you have to fuck other people, keep it discreet, okay? I know the Games are a veritable buffet of hot people looking to sleep around, but this is all embarrassing enough as it is. We don’t need cheating rumors swirling around us, too.”
